As recently posted in the Emma Joy Weekly Newsletter
Opinions Are Not Facts
Hey, everyone.
I'm glad to be addressing today's topic. It is something that stole my joy and increased my insecurities for too many years of my life. I am referring to the opinions of others regarding us.
People often form set opinions about us without knowing us well at all. They assess everything from our attire, to our walk, to how we decorate our homes, to the music we enjoy. It's never-ending. What's funny though is that they don't know much at all of what has made us who we are. They don't know the life experiences or friendships that have helped shape who we are and what we like. They don't give us room to be our own person with interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes all our own.
People may want to shape us into their image and sometimes succeed through their incessant (and unnecessary) comments or gossip. Sometimes we cave...or worse yet, sometimes we begin to hide who we really are and get so caught up in our own world that we start to shun good people from having the opportunity of getting to know us for who we are. We wrongly assume that every person we meet is judgmental, cruel, rude, and mean. We believe that no one will like us if they got to know the real us, so we begin to wear a mask and keep the conversation shallow despite who we're around since we fear mere opinion. And this is a shame and disgrace.
How many people have deep insecurities that stem back to a few words a family member, teacher, or passerby said in haste because they were in a bad mood or thought they knew how our lives should go? How many times have other people made us think that their opinion of us is what everyone thinks of us? My sister was a cruel and hurtful presence in my life for years. Her careless comments or meanness really scarred me deeply. And sadly the result has been one of separation in our relationship because I refuse to converse with someone who is belittling by her very manner and has a way of leaving me feeling undesirable and like I won't ever amount to anything.
I used to think how she viewed me was how everyone viewed me, and let me tell you, it messed me up! I always felt less than around her because that is the air she put across around my family and me. But God has since helped me to work through the effects of her presence over a lifetime and brought along many people who appreciate my uniqueness instead of shunning me as "weird" or "random". Ever since I learned how to set boundaries, surround myself with healthy people, and sought to make a difference in this broken world, I have learned that one person's opinion cannot dictate how I live my life or how I view myself or my future.
I share this to encourage and comfort each one of you who have bought the lie that the opinions of others are fact or their thoughts regarding you are gospel truth. They are not. Their opinion is their own. And I can guarantee there is a world of hurt and unresolved issues behind every mean word, careless neglect, or gossip which is based on warped perception and a skewed lens.
We are all the result of our upbringing, our life experiences, and the people we've encountered since our earliest days. Please don't allow the opinions or words of others to convince you that they know what is best for you or how your life should go.
We should regard the endless criticisms of others as pride and clueless chatter. Just like you are not what has happened to you in life, neither are you what others have said to or about you. Only you and God truly know all the details. And only the opinion of God truly matters. How unfortunate we don't keep this truth at the forefront of our minds!
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