Showing posts with label Our Need for God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Our Need for God. Show all posts

Thursday, May 23, 2019

The Worst Counsel for Breaking a Porn Addiction




Originally posted on CovenantEyes.com


“Is the love of pleasure and amusement growing on you—gaining the power and authority over you? Is it dulling the keenness of your zest for spiritual pleasures? Is it making Bible study, prayer, communion with Christ, and meditation upon holy themes—less sweet enjoyments than they once were? Is it making your hunger for righteousness, and for God—less intense? If so, there is only one thing to do—hurry…to return to God…to find in Christ, the joy which the world cannot give.” –J. R. Miller


The Worst Advice for Breaking Addiction: “Just Stop!”


An addiction of any kind is more complex than simple. It is all-encompassing as opposed to one-dimensional. It is fueled through many sources and overcome through several steps. Many people battle addiction for years with minimal success because they suppose the outward action is the problem and do not understand the strong roots stemming way back in the mind and heart.


For the addict, the command to “Just Stop!” is the worst advice. It is vague, ineffectual, and hopeless. It makes light of the problem and unrealistically sends the message that freedom from what binds him or her will be effortless, painless, and quick. Here are three reasons this is terrible advice.



Read the rest of my guest post for the Covenant Eyes blog here


Monday, October 31, 2016

Run the Race in Such a Way That You May Win





By Jim George


The Christian life and spiritual growth are not sprints. They are long-distance races that require lifelong perseverance. You grow in spiritual maturity as you run the race moment by moment, day after day, and year after year.


In many ways, running the spiritual race is a lot like physical running. If you stop exercising physically, your body may not show the results of inactivity for a while. But in time you will wake up and find that you can't run to the end of the block, and it's a short one at that!


In the same way, you may think you can get by without exercising spiritually, by not reading your Bible, or praying, or going to church. One day, however, you will wake up and find yourself spiritually flabby, out of shape, and wide open to sin...all because you didn't make a focused effort to keep growing day by day.


And remember, you can't rest on yesterday's growth. You must be dedicated to growing today...and every day.


... It's true that growth doesn't just happen. Spiritual growth requires motivation and action on your part. But the benefits of such growth are phenomenal and well worth your effort.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Crosses and Losses Are Better for Us Than Prosperity and Earthly Comforts




We bring so much of the misery we experience on ourselves through allowing our emotions to rule us and our thoughts to overtake us. If we purposed in our hearts to stop complaining, stop comparing, and to dwell on the prescription for right thinking found in Philippians 4: 8, can you imagine how different our lives would be? Yes, the circumstances may stay the same, but us in the circumstances would totally change. And we would honor God in the process and be a good example to those around us. Ignoring this encouragement will only hurt us and keep us in the defeated and downcast mentality we have experienced for so long. Make the right choice. And continue choosing to make the right choices moment by moment.


Don't you think crosses and losses are better for us, especially long term, than prosperity and earthly comfort if it keeps us focused on God, enables character growth and the producing of the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, equips us to reach and minister to others in need, and makes us lean on God for support, strength, hope, and help?


We as an American society have everything so backwards. We value riches, fame, and power at the very expense of character, goal-setting, living a meaningful life and serving others to their benefit. We pursue wealth at the expense of quality time with our families and negate seeking the Lord just so we can keep up with the Joneses. We settle for busy lives filled with fluff and pointless, empty distractions while the opportunities to serve our community and those around us are endless.


We have become selfish, entitled, and immature, and lack any depth to our personalities and character, yet somehow have fallen for the lie that worldly success means we are okay in life and have arrived.


We ignore the hurting, the lonely, and the broken because the pursuit of our own happiness takes precedence over giving of ourselves to those truly in need.


America is destroying itself. We are becoming the scenario presented in the film WALL E.


It would be better to experience consequences, loss, and hardship by the sovereign hand of Almighty God to wake us up to our daily need for Him and to give us a willing heart toward being used by Him in the lives of others in whatever capacity He calls us to than for the Lord to just let us continue living in the comforts of our own little lives.


We purchase daily coffee or dessert yet plea for justice for the human trafficking victim while doing little to make a difference. We spend hours in front of the television then wonder why we have become so sluggish and are not changing for the better. We are content with shallow conversations when everyone we meet is so complex and one of our greatest needs as human beings is "to know and be known" on a heart-to-heart level.


Surrender to God is our best option. Let us consider that the spending of ourselves for God's purposes far outweighs any selfish pursuit in meaning, joy, and purpose. What are we waiting for? What is keeping you from such a privilege? Sin? Laziness? Apathy? Wake up, sleepy Christian, and get a clue!

Sunday, January 31, 2016

The Hope of Transformation





By John Ortberg


I am disappointed with myself. I am disappointed not so much with particular things I have done as with aspects of who I have become. I have a nagging sense that all is not as it should be.


Some of this disappointment is trivial. ...


Some of this disappointment is neurotic. Sometimes I am too concerned about what others think of me, even people I don’t know.


Some of this disappointment, I know, is worse than trivial; it is simply the sour fruit of self-absorption. ...


But some of this disappointment in myself runs deeper. When I look in on my children as they sleep at night, I think of the kind of father I want to be. ... [Then] I remember how my daughter spilled cherry punch at dinner and I yelled at her about being careful as if she’d revealed some deep character flaw; I yelled at her even though I spill things all the time and no one yells at me; I yelled at her—to tell the truth—simply because I’m big and she’s little and I can get away with it. And then I saw that look of hurt and confusion in her eyes, and I knew there was a tiny wound on her heart that I had put there, and I wished I could have taken those sixty seconds back. ...


And it’s not just my life as a father. I am disappointed also for my life as a husband, friend, neighbor, and human being in general. ...


I am disappointed that I still love God so little and sin so much. I always had the idea as a child that adults were pretty much the people they wanted to be. Yet the truth is, I am embarrassingly sinful.


I am capable of dismaying amounts of jealousy if someone succeeds more visibly than I do. I am disappointed at my capacity to be small and petty. I cannot pray for very long without my mind drifting into a fantasy of angry revenge over some past slight I thought I had long since forgiven or some grandiose fantasy of achievement. I can convince people I’m busy and productive and yet waste large amounts of time watching television. These are just some of the disappointments. I have other ones, darker ones that I’m not ready to commit to paper.


The truth is, even to write these words is a little misleading, because it makes me sound more sensitive to my fallenness than I really am. Sometimes, although I am aware of how far I fall short, it doesn’t even bother me very much. And I am disappointed at my lack of disappointment.


I am in a state of disappointment. I am missing the life that I was appointed by God to live—missing my calling. And I have disappointed God. I have removed him from the central role he longs to play in my life; I have refused to "let God be God" and have appointed myself in his place.


But God is determined to overcome the defacing of his image in us. His plan is not simply to repair most of our brokenness. He wants to make us new creatures. So the story of the human race is not just one of universal disappointment, but one of inextinguishable hope.


The good news is especially that the kingdom of God is closer than you think. It is available to ordinary men and women. It is available to people who have never thought of themselves as religious or spiritual. It is available to you. You can live in it—now. This means in part that your story is the story of transformation. You will not always be as you are now; the day is coming when you will be something incomparably better—or worse.


C. S. Lewis expressed that hope this way:


"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. . . . There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors."


This is why Jesus came. This is your calling—to become what Lewis calls an "everlasting splendor." The desire for transformation lies deep in every human heart. This is why people enter therapy, join health clubs, get into recovery groups, read self-help books, attend motivational seminars, and make New Year’s resolutions. The possibility of transformation is the essence of hope.


The good news as Jesus preached it is that now it is possible for ordinary men and women to live in the presence and under the power of God. It is about the glorious redemption of human life—your life.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Counting the Cost over Sexual Sin




Taken from


By Joe Dallas


No matter what behavior it is you're turning from...


1. Name the "benefits" you've been getting from your sexual sin---that is, what you've been getting out of this behavior. This is a way of counting the cost involved in giving it up. There are usually several "benefits"; here are some of the most common:


  • It comforts me
  • I get affection from this
  • I get affirmation from this
  • It kills my pain
  • I feel an emotional connection.
  • It's exciting.
  • It makes me feel powerful.
  • It distracts me when I'm bored.


If any of these apply, list them. But also ask yourself: "What else have I been getting out of this?"


2. What will your life be like five years from now if you don't turn away from this behavior? Specifically, what will your frame of mind be like, what will your marriage be like, what will your spiritual life be like, and what impact will this behavior have on your job, career, ministry, and reputation five years from now, if current trends continue?

Rationale


By counting the cost of giving up this behavior, then weighing its benefits against its liabilities, you make a reasoned commitment to both reject it and abstain from it.

Prayer


Lord, in leaving this behavior or relationship, I feel as though I'm walking away from an old, reliable friend. This sin has offended and grieved You, and it has damaged me and all I hold dear. But it has been a part of me so long I feel, even as I reject it, that I'm cutting off a part of myself. Help me to see sin for what it is, in all its horribleness, and keep me from being dazzled by its memory and attractiveness in the future.


Three things I need from You if I'm to follow You in this way:


  1. I need Your strength and courage to follow through on the commitment I'm making today.
  2. I need Your wisdom as I deal with the specifics and details involved in turning from this behavior.
  3. I need deeper faith in You and in Your ability to keep me from returning to the very thing I'm now rejecting.


Please help me to be the good and faithful servant You've called me to be by giving me all three. I ask this in Jesus's name. Amen.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Each Choice We Make Paves the Way for Our Future





"It is often easy to see problems, but difficult to make the hard choices and risks that result in change." Boundaries Books


As we begin a new year, instead of focusing on making New Years Resolutions and then (inevitably) beating yourself up when you fail to continue whatever it is you began, why not just take every day and every hour as an opportunity to choose what will most benefit you long-term and that which will result in the least amount of guilt, shame, and regret?


The choices we make on a momentary basis all have an impact on our tomorrows. Make your future self proud by making decisions each day that reflect maturity, respect, responsibility, and will help you move forward into a future you can smile at because you know you are putting in the effort beginning now to ensure consequences that profit and build up (instead of tearing you down and bringing unforeseen suffering to you and those around you).


I'm astounded at the fact that our choices do not only affect us, but are far-reaching. It's a sobering thought to ponder and if we allow it to put in us a fear of straying from what is wholesome, we can better ensure others have a bright future as well.


Remember...


"History is made every time you make a decision."


"You are free to choose but the choices you make today will determine what you will be, do, and have in the tomorrows of your life."


"Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice."


"You express the truth of your character, your dedication to your goals, and your commitment to your relationships with the choice of your actions."


"I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday."


"With every choice you make, you create your life."


"As much as people refuse to believe it, the company you keep does have an impact and influence on your choices."


"You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing for me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay? Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change."


"The trouble with trouble is, it starts out as fun."

Friday, December 25, 2015

Celebrating the King of kings





Merry Christmas!


In the midst of busyness, events you might not want to attend, family members you'd rather not see, loneliness, loss, and whatever else has the potential of stealing your joy on this remarkable day, delight and find solace in the fact:


"For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9: 6


Cling to Christ, cherish His word, and rest in Him. Treasure the priceless gift of God's Son and rejoice in the rich truth that having a right relationship with Almighty God and possessing the gift of eternal life through Him is far more valuable than any earthly comforts could afford.


Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the comparison trap. Focus on the King of kings and Lord of lords this day, bringing honor and praise to His name for what He has done.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Keeping an Eternal Perspective





It can be easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others who have more money, a life with seemingly more fun, a nicer appearance, a thinner body, or a more spacious place to live. We are all prone at one point in our lives (if not on a continual basis) to see others and desire what they have or wish we could live a life similar to theirs.


What's missing here and what makes this a skewed perspective is how the way others appear cannot give any insight into where they've been, what their life is really like, or where they are headed. Sure, by the choices people make or how they dress we can get an idea of some of the things they like. And yes, if they have money and a spacious nice home they are no doubt enjoying where they reside above the people who live in a tiny apartment and cannot afford the luxuries that wealthier individuals have.


Have you taken the time to view such circumstances from the lens of eternity; having an eternal perspective? Do you realize that one fire or car accident and their possessions can all disappear and their appearance can be marred? In the midst of your jealousy, do you forget that each of us will stand before God and give an account of our lives and whether or not we willingly served the Lord, made possible through His dear Son, Jesus Christ?


A great friend of mine once spoke of the need to view all of life from an eternal perspective. What a difference this will make in each of our lives if we practice it and train ourselves to see life through the lens of Scripture. We will soon have compassion on those who don't know Christ and our eyes will be opened to see that the very things we envy can actually be tools in the hand of the enemy to keep them away from pursuing Christ or seeing their need for Him.


" 'For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?' " Mark 8: 36


If we consider the fact that every person we meet has a past, present and future, that they have very real experiences in life and circumstances that can or will befall them, that they might be terribly insecure or totally opposed to God, that we know nothing about what their childhood was like or the sort of parents they had or whether or not they will contract an STD or die of Cancer, that we know little about their worldview or the sort of friend they are or who their enemies are or what they secretly indulge in, or so much else, we would find it easier to accept the lot we have been given and would be more apt to consider whether the choices we begin making today and into the future are wise and beneficial for our health, sanity, wholeness and well-being.


Something I'm discovering is that you truly never know how someone's life will turn out, so to envy them or compare yourself to them is actually pointless.


Each of us are broken people living in a fallen world. The only hope for our wretched and needy state is a relationship with Jesus Christ. He is the only One who can bring beauty from ashes, restoration from years of pain, wholeness and purity from disaster and addiction, and a right standing with Almighty God whose worth we cannot even fathom and whose love can heal us of our deepest hurts.


Will you trust Him? In the midst of what is going on and despite what you have gone through, will you trust Him? Will you commit your life to Him in full surrender and cling to Christ and His word with resolve to never let go?

If not, why not? What is the alternative?


... To face this world without God's help, healing, restoration, intervention, and comfort? To assume you know what is best and therefore stray from the Bible's teachings and warnings? To become a "sovereign self" and be your own lord and master? To think that somehow life will be better if you aren't under the authority and Lordship of Christ? To be on your own in this world away from the protection and care of God toward those who are His own? ...


Please begin praying that God would open your eyes to see all of life from the lens of eternity. Heaven will be worth all the trials, hardships, and difficulties we experienced in this life, the lessons it taught us, how we were refined through it, and how we treasured Christ even above earthly comforts. This life is so short. Please join me in redeeming the time, making the most of it, and as rough as it is to do so, glorifying our God and King in the midst of the impossible.


Pray for me regarding this and I will pray the same for each of you!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Life is Filled with Surprises






As recently posted in the Emma Joy Weekly Newsletter


To Compare or Not to Compare?


Life certainly does not make sense. Some people appear to have a promising future and end up shamefully failing, while others live for years as a seeming nobody and then God uses them in incredible ways.


You never know how someone's life will turn out, so it would be wise to focus solely on the time, people, and responsibilities the Lord has given you, knowing that life could always be a lot worse and just having breath is a gift from God. We are deserving of nothing and yet if each of us were to examine and list how much God has done for us, spared us from, blessed us with, delivered us from, brought about, used for our good (Romans 8: 28), etc. we would joyfully give Him praise.


I am in no way saying to just deal with it if you have suffered greatly in life (especially at the hands of other people in situations or circumstances that were not your fault), nor am I making light of anything you may have been through and the pain you suffered that others might not even be aware of.


I am only meaning to say that often times, the way we view others or assume what they are like or think we know how their lives will turn out is an illusion. I'd even venture to say that the way we strive to make ourselves appear to other people is a mirage, like smoke and mirrors, that we hide behind because instead of acknowledging God as our source of value, we too much look to other things for our significance when they are bound to fail or let us down, leaving us disappointed or feeling like the life we want is out of our grasp.


"We all have chapters we wish to leave unpublished," as one quote states it.


I'm convinced that if we were to know others intimately; their darkest secrets, their most worrisome fears, how they sometimes treat others, their thought life, and so much else, our perception of them would instantly change. We would quickly realize that the qualities they exhibit are only a small portion of who they are as a person (and we all have a past, every one of us).


In the game of life, the choices we make matter. They matter for the sake of our future, they make up our present, and they are what our past holds; for better or worse.


It always saddens me when people live by the motto, "Let me learn from my own mistakes." It upsets me when people who have great families and the ability to learn about God turn away from both with the belief that something or someone out there will bring about a better result than close knit relationships or a life of devotion to the one true King. It angers me when people take luxuries for granted while other people are truly thankful to just have a roof over their head.


Oh, the ways we justify poor choices and make excuses for living lives that do not reflect our status as a child of God! How blind and numb we allow ourselves to be! How ungrateful! How foolish!


Our example matters. Our words matter. How we treat others matters. What we do with our time matters. The little sins you justify today are turning you into the monster, addict, or person you are becoming tomorrow. Please repent of your pride, your willful ignorance, your complaining, and the sin you so deeply love. Truly consider if how you live is honoring to God or if you wish to call the shots with little regard to honoring Christ in all your ways.


I hope this newsletter finds each reader well and focused on what really matters. I pray that God is or will become your top priority and that you do not waste or spend your life on what might exalt self while separating you from the Lord and others. Each day we are building our legacy. What will you be remembered for? Are you content to continue living in sin with little desire to repent fully or pursue the Lord with renewed fervor and thanksgiving? Do you realize what God can do with a heart fully surrendered to Him? Will you be pleased to part with this world as one having made little difference or impact or can you see the importance of saying to God, "Spend me as You will..."?


Selfishness and sin bring people to ruin. How I wish I could turn back time and have followed Jesus beginning in my earliest days! Sometimes I hate the person I am; my envy, my rage, my insecurities, my past regrets and consequences I am still suffering to this day.


Other times the forgiveness of Christ and His continued work of sanctification in my life fills me with an exuberant joy that who I have been need not and should not define me.


No matter where you are currently, I hope you will choose on a daily basis to believe God's word and realize your true worth comes from Him alone.


How exhausting life is otherwise!

Thursday, October 29, 2015

The Pain of Suffering Loss





As recently posted in the Emma Joy Weekly Newsletter


Loss, especially unexpectedly, has the potential of shaking a person's faith, leading them into grave depression, causing suicidal thoughts, triggering unhealthy coping mechanisms, enabling compromise, and stealing our joy.


I have experienced great loss over the last few months and other forms of loss just a year before. My family and I lost our house (which was spacious, beautiful, and in the perfect area), our ability to buy whatever we wanted, having to sell or donate a lot of our stuff, my mom had to begin working full-time after being a stay-at-home mom for nearly a decade, we could no longer afford the vitamins I need for my mental state to improve, and my step dad's absence (through walking out) has resulted in the loss of spiritual leadership, a father figure at home, and having someone there whom I could talk to about anything at any time.


Yes, life has been less stressful being away from the person my step dad became. And yes, God provided a nice place for us to live with the perfect floor plan, many luxuries, the ability to take long walks morning and night in a safe and lovely area, go to the gym 24/7 if I wanted, enjoy beautiful scenery, have our own garage, and be only three miles away from our previous house. I would cook and took pride in cleaning. The rooms were spacious. We were close to everything we needed. ...


Then a month ago they wanted to raise our rent by nearly two hundred dollars so we had to move and have been staying at my grandfather's home for the last three weeks and will be going to stay with my newly married sister and her husband today until we save enough money to get our own place.


I must sound so spoiled saying this but our living situation now is not the most ideal. This isn't to say we haven't learned lessons in this current season of life. My family & I all have and know God will continue teaching us lessons when we go to stay with my sister (who is the opposite of me so this should be interesting). Even though we were thankful, I know we took a lot for granted simply by way of thinking we would never lose anything else. The words of C. S. Lewis come to mind here, "Never let your happiness depend on something you might lose."


I do realize that learning lessons and growing in Christ-like character is more important than material comforts and I treasure & respect the Lord for the work He is seeking to do in each of our lives during this current season unlike anything we have experienced before.


I look forward to being more keen to opportunities where we can meet needs and be generous to those in a similar situation because we now know what it is like. I am hopeful and trusting that God is able to bless my family and I with a nice home again and that He is sovereign and in control despite our tendency to doubt. One lesson we've learned is to not complain and to see even the smallest blessings as grand. I am thankful for who God is and that He is a faithful God who restores in His perfect way and timing.


I regretfully haven't kept up with writing to those who contact me through my blog because I've been terribly down and my complaining heart and anger lately has been anything but honoring to God. It has blinded me for the most part to everything that is right in life and filled me with a rage you wouldn't believe. My emotions fluctuate from being super mad to being on my face before God in humble gratitude for everything He has done for me and like Job I then "repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42: 5-6) for shaking my fist at One who is most worthy.


Isn't it interesting how we form ideas about others while having limited knowledge about them and then worse yet, compare ourselves to them as if how they appear is worth envying?


As a blogger and someone who is fond of reading and writing, I see aspects of people's lives that I am jealous of at times. I have been quite transparent on my blog while leaving details about my personal life unknown.


I just want to encourage you all to not compare yourselves to other people. You never know what they are going through (or have gone through) and thoughts or habits that have the ability to destroy them if not taken captive and placed hourly under the Lordship and care of Christ.


I would appreciate prayer for my family at this time. We are hurting in many ways. Even though there is a lot to be thankful for we are still wrestling with confusion and sadness, just wanting to gain a greater sense of normalcy and be restored.

Monday, October 19, 2015

God's Ability to Use and Restore the Most Sinful Wretch among Us





If you feel bad about yourself, I really want to write words of encouragement to you in this post. If you feel worthless, hopeless, alone, or like your life will never be restored, I hope the following blesses you and gives you hope.


Having grown up in America, I can testify to the reality that consumerism, popularity, sex appeal, and the pursuit of anything that will make you happy leaves many people broken and suffering. I understand what it is like to be shy, to not have many friends, to be addicted to various forms of pleasure, to have a problem with self-injury and self-loathing, to compare myself to others, to not have money, to be the awkward one in the crowd, and to have zero confidence.


I also know what it is like to have grown in Christ to the extent that I have been restored, my past no longer haunts me, I am riddled with guilt no more, to have been restored in ways I never thought possible or even imagined, to have money for needs and wants, to feel secure with who I am as a person and to find my worth in Jesus, to offer God my life in its entirety with a peaceful trust and blessed assurance that He will always answer and act in the best, wisest, and most beneficial way possible; to my growth and sanctification & His honor and praise.


I know what it's like to be envious of others, to mock God in anger, to have issues with my appearance, to desire a more active social life, to not fit in, to have been the girl in high school who both dyed her hair bright colors and dressed in Gothic attire with makeup and demeanor to match. I know what it's like to have planned my suicide and scared family or friends in the process, to have been caught in a twisted web of poor choices and painful consequences suffered, to have been made fun of as a child and teenager, to have failed classes and gone to a continuation school because ditching too often and not completing school work led to no longer being able to stay at a regular high school, to have deeply wounded people by mean words, to be in a relationship with someone who was controlling, obsessive, jealous and possessive, to have gone from wearing scantily clad attire to hating men to the degree that I intentionally dressed covered up or wore clothes two sizes too big so I wouldn't be found attractive, to lay on the floor hysterically crying or cry myself to sleep many times, to have not graduated high school, and so much else.


I also know what it's like to have friends or family whose friendship has been a rich blessing, to have the luxury of working from home and studying often, to mentor youth and people of all ages or backgrounds as I share and dialogue about what I have gone through in life, who Christ is, and the miraculous ways He has transformed my life. I know what it's like to be comforted by God through His word and His people in the darkest of trials and to have found freedom through Christ over strongholds I had been carrying for years.


The point of stating all of this is to share with each of you that I am just a person like you, a sinful wretch apart from Jesus whose hand I must cling to at all times or I will stray on paths that lead to nothing but a labyrinth of pain and hurt, that I have a very real past and go through difficulty like everyone else which has the potential of shaking my faith or leading me to actual suicide. I want to be a humble servant and obedient slave of Christ yet realize how much Christianity requires of us; it is all or nothing and sometimes it is tempting to just walk away completely because I believe the lies of the enemy that being a "sovereign self" and doing what I please will prove to be a better life than being safe in the midst of God's perfect will.


It is by God's intervention alone that I didn't destroy myself through willful sin and stubborn rebellion. It is through Jesus alone who allowed some of the most bitter trials that lasted a lot longer than I thought they would (even thinking that I would just die in that condition because I saw no way of breaking free) who through such misery and constant questions or putting myself down and comparing myself to others that I grew to have a deep love for the Bible and a genuine commitment to the God who is worthy of all praise. It is through the depths of poor choices and selfishness, the consequences suffered, and as Corrie Ten Boom said, "You will never know that Christ is all you need until Christ is all you have" that I realized truly how perfect God is and how great my need was for Him.


"There is not a trial or difficulty, not a disappointment or vexation, but is God’s chosen instrument for making us holy." Andrew Murray


No matter what you have done, no matter the circumstances you find yourself in today, no matter how low you feel or how much you doubt that God can redeem and revive a sinful wretch like you, I plead with you to get on your face before God, even this very moment, and surrender all to the God who loves you and gave His Son to redeem you from the punishment we all deserve: an eternity separated from Almighty God. Begin to read God's word daily without fail. Have a constant conversation with God about everything from the smallest details like finding a parking spot at a crowded mall to beseeching the Lord on behalf of the homosexual couple living next door or your wayward child whose new found disinterest in God has broken your heart. Offer God a willing heart to do with as He wills. Commit your life to God in its entirety. Ask God to make your life count for eternity and pray that He would work in and through your life to the extent that being a willing vessel to be used of God bears much spiritual fruit and reaches people for the eternal Kingdom of God!


If you fear giving God full control of your life, consider His character as shown in the Bible. Yes, the Bible warns in Galatians 6: 7 that we shall reap what we sow. This in no way takes away God's forgiveness for our past or present choices, nor does it render us useless at the thought of God using our failures and rebellion as a warning to others and to offer hope to them that feel they have messed up too much in life.


"God is merciful to reveal/expose our sin. God is merciful to use us in spite of our sin." Nancy Leigh DeMoss


I invite you to write to me and share your life's story. Tell me what is on your heart. I would love to correspond about such important matters because I know firsthand what it is like to shake at the thought of giving God my future and to have grown in Him over the course of half a decade as I have seen that God truly is good and He can turn our lives around for His glory and the benefit and help of others in ways we never thought possible. Send a note my way at: EmmaJoyBlog@gmail.com or write through the contact form on my blog.


"When we murmur/complain, we're really saying we reject God’s choices, His authority, and His right to rule over our lives/this world." Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Complexity and Root of Addiction





"A Failure of Worship"


I find addiction, and the bondage of addiction, to be very difficult to understand. It seems like overcoming addiction should be so simple, and especially for the Christian: Instead of doing that thing, how about next time you just don’t do that thing? Instead of opening that bottle, keep it closed. Instead of buying those pills, buy some groceries. Instead of typing in that web site, type in a different web site. Instead of walking through the doors of the casino, choose not to even go near the casino. If only it was so simple.


To treat addiction so simply is to misunderstand its very nature. I said recently that Kent Dunnington’s Addiction and Virtue is easily one of the most fascinating books I have read recently, and in that book he tells us why addiction is far more than making bad choices instead of good choices. Addicts are not simply satisfying a need or following habits, though they are doing those things as well. Addicts are actually seeking the good life, and are convinced it can be found in and through the addiction. Dunnington says it this way:



We are neither taught nor inclined to think of addicted persons as being actively and passionately engaged in the pursuit of the good life. We tend to think of them as persons who have checked out of the game or who are positively bent on destruction. But this is not so. I maintain that addictive behavior can tell us more than almost any other kind of human behavior about what human beings most deeply desire.


Addicts are expressing a universal desire, but are doing it in a more “sold out” way than most other people. If most people pursue the good life in a halfhearted way, addicts pursue it full-out.



Addiction, then, might be understood as the quest for … ecstatic intoxication. The addicted person, recognizing her own insignificance and her own insufficiency to realize perfect happiness, seeks to be taken up into a consuming experience, longs to be the object rather than the subject of experience, craves to suffer happiness rather than produce it.


“Ecstatic intoxication.” That is what addicts desire, whether the intoxication comes through a substance or an experience, through the rush of the drug or the rush of the sexual experience. In either case, addicts long for that consuming experience and convince themselves it can be found in drugs or alcohol or gambling or pornography or in whatever it is. In this way we see that addiction is actually a failure of worship.



Addictions are addicting just to the extent that they tempt us with the promise of such a perfect happiness, and they are enslaving just to the extent that they mimic and give intimations of this perfection. The depth and power of addiction become more intelligible as we come to see addiction as a counterfeit of the virtue of charity. As such, addiction is appropriately described as a failure of worship, a potent expression of idolatry in which we pursue in the immanent plane that which can only be achieved in relationship with the transcendent God. The cunning and allure of addiction is in fact brought out just to the extent that we see how stunningly addiction enables addicted persons to achieve [imitations] of the goods that right worship makes possible. Such a display demonstrates that addiction can most fittingly be characterized as an enactment of the striving of human persons to attain on their own the flourishing, integrity of self and ecstatic delight that is only to be received through right relationship with God.


Addiction is worship, a failed attempt to find in substances or experiences what can only be found in God. How can you see evidence of that worship? By the way the addiction becomes the means to elevate and interpret any experience.



The fact that anything can count as an excuse to use is a function of the power that addiction has to incorporate every aspect of an addicted person’s life into its own rhythms and rationales. It really is the case for the alcoholic that the good times are vacuous without alcohol, that the hard times are unbearable without alcohol, that loneliness doesn’t feel lonely with alcohol, that loving relationships are mediated by alcohol, that success can only be celebrated with alcohol, that only alcohol can insulate from rejection and so on. To be an alcoholic is to enter into such a relationship with alcohol that everything else in life makes sense only if it is accompanied by alcohol. … [A]ddiction transfigures the most ordinary activities into meaningful transactions.


Do you see it? The Bible calls us to incorporate worship of God into all of life’s rhythms and rationales. The hard times are unbearable without God, loneliness doesn’t feel [as] lonely when we are walking closely with God, loving relationships are mediated and enhanced by shared love for God, success is best celebrated with thanks to God, a relationship with God insulates us from rejection, and so on. To be a God-worshipper is to enter into such a relationship with God that everything else in life only makes sense if it is accompanied by him.


The addict is not merely following deeply-ingrained habits and physical desires, but seeking the escstasy of worship. The problem is not the desire to worship—we are created to be worshippers—but the idolatrous object of that worship. The addict looks elsewhere—anywhere—for what can be found only in God. The addict’s foremost failure is a failure of worship.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Praise Be to the One Most Worthy






As recently posted in the Emma Joy Weekly Newsletter


"How We Spend Our Time Is How We Spend Our Lives"


I am convinced that many professing Christians care little about surrendering all to God and giving their hearts wholly to Him.  We surely must know that God Almighty by nature and logic cannot be satisfied with the mere scraps of our time and small bits of our heart we offer Him, yet we claim since we go to church or pray daily that this extent of our spiritual life is just fine.


Friends, do you realize who we are dealing with here?  God Almighty!  The King of kings and Lord of lords.  He who is faithful and true.  Our Creator, our Sustainer, the One who made the heavens and the earth!  The One who has given us breath and provides for us, He who has intervened in our lives and made nothings like ourselves His sons and daughters.  The God who is worthy of all praise.  The One who is a true friend, whose word is truth, who always has our best interest in mind.  The One who can work all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8: 28).  ...and we offer this precious Being the leftovers of our time, talent, resources, money, and hearts?  What are we thinking?


Are we really satisfied with keeping Christ at arm's length, to run to when we are in need or feel fear or anxiety all while shutting the rooms of our hearts and lives from Him to do with as He pleases?  Do we really realize who God is (as described in the Bible, His word) and how utterly worthy of our 100% trust and genuine commitment He is?  I would say not given how half-hearted most of us are in regards to Him on a regular basis (and I am speaking to myself as well).


How do we treat prayer?  Is it something we give a few moments of our time to each morning before we shower or drive to work, therefore feeling like we can cross that off of our to-do list (or if we were honest, to get God off our back because there are so many more important things to be doing with our time than prayer)?  Do we realize what Jesus has done for us?  Do we give God the honor due Him by praying on our knees each day, or better yet being on our faces before Him whether we are experiencing times of great pleasure or the sorrows of loss in its many forms?  Do we worship God for who He is instead of trying to force Him to give us everything we want at this time in our lives, thus denying His wisdom and goodness toward us no matter how He handles our requests?


Do we see God through the lens of Scripture or have we attributed negative thoughts, past or current pain, and the lies of satan (John 8: 44) to God and want to run from Him in the process because we view His character as malicious or even evil for all He has allowed or withheld in our lives?


Can we see Jesus clearly through humble obedience, diligently running hard after Him, and acknowledging our Risen King as the One most worthy or are we blinded by our stubbornness, sinful patterns of living or thinking, pride, anger, or comparing ourselves to others we perceive as having better lives (or assuming they always will) than the circumstances we now face?


Ravi Zacharias wrote, "At its core, the call of Jesus is a bountiful invitation to trust and freedom to live in the riches of our relationship with Him. I am only free in as much as I can surrender to God and trust Him to give me the purpose for which my soul longs. This is the wonder and power of a redeemed heart. If I cannot surrender and trust Him, I am not free.


We must know to whom we belong and who calls us all to the same purpose. Only when I am at peace with God can I be at peace with myself, and only then will I be at peace with my fellow humans and truly free."


Do we run to God in prayer and speak to Him like He is our best friend and the One who knows us thoroughly and intimately yet loves us anyway?


Have we hardened our hearts toward God and desire to flee from Him, giving little if any priority to prayer because we just can't understand why our lives have turned out the way they are and we so desperately wish they were more ideal?


I challenge us, seriously challenge us, to get on our faces before God and cry out to Him in respectful humility and complete brokenness saying how much we have failed Him by our selfish actions, attitudes, choices, and words...and plead with Him to restore our relationship with Him and change us in such a way that He is truly our top priority and the One whose light we shine in the lives of everyone we meet!


God alone is wise, God alone is faithful, God alone is deserving of our total devotion and praise.  Let us fiercely guard our hearts, eyes, and time and then daily draw nearer to the Lord through honest prayer and the consumption of His holy and perfect word.


Why wait?  What are we going to say to God on the day we stand before Him...


"But Lord, ___ was my favorite TV show!  Leading a busy life made me feel important and so I always felt run down or too tired to pray to You much.  I know I didn't cherish pouring my heart out to You often or make it a passionate pursuit, but the guys wanted to play golf each weekend or the girls wanted to discuss trivial matters and that was my only time off from a hectic work schedule!  I know I didn't give You Your proper place in my life and decisions, thoughts and words, but at times willfully chose to drown myself in Pop Culture or pornography (or good things in life) to numb my pain or relax instead of turning to You, the Redeemer of my soul, whose healing balm of comfort and joy independent of my circumstances would have sufficed.


Jesus, if I only knew how glorious and perfect You were, how much Your word was a treasure chest of precious jewels and the sacrifice You made on my behalf was worthy of my telling everyone I knew about it...I would have been more devoted to You!  I would have lived fully and wholly for You (even more so than I did) instead of being lazy at times or giving as much time as I did to lesser pursuits (even if they were good).  I could have reveled in Your beauty, enjoyed You more, and loved You more deeply!  I could have known You more than others did.  I would have worried less, been more content, and daily rejoiced in You.  Even though I did love You and lived for You, I wish I would have sought you more fervently.  I have an eternity with You now yet oh how I wish I would have chased after You and pursued You more diligently during my brief time on earth!  You are glorious and worthy of my time!!"


This is sarcasm of course but I am trying to prove the point of how fleeting and pointless all of life is if it isn't lived fully for the One who gave His life for us.  I'm afraid too many of us allow the days and years to go by without devouring God's word and treasuring prayer.  We as believers have the ears of the Maker of the universe and yet we often choose on a daily or hourly basis to say, "Eh, TV or secular music or hobbies, etc. is worth trading hours of my life for and beats the difficult yet rewarding work of keeping Christ first in my life."


Really?  As I proposed in last week's newsletter, let's begin devouring the word of God because it is then we will more fully see Christ's worth and God's call on our lives to glorify Him (which totally trumps the glory we are seeking for ourselves or chasing after the next fun or exciting experience - even if it is good).


"One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the last day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time."  John Piper


...or whatever it is to you that keeps you from praying and seeking after the Lord.


"We are never nearer Christ than when we find ourselves lost in a holy amazement at His unspeakable love." John Owen


"There is no place like the feet of Jesus for resolving the problems that perplex our hearts." G. B. Duncan


"No time is so well spent in every day as that which we spend upon our knees." J. C. Ryle


"True Christian prayer is the faith and reliance of the soul breathed forth in words." Jonathan Edwards


"Fear not because your prayer is stammering, your words feeble, and your language poor. Jesus can understand you." J. C. Ryle


"It's not your schedule that keeps you from praying, it's your failure to realize the importance of prayer."  Jim & Elizabeth George


"Prayer is not an exercise, it is the life of the Christian."  Oswald Chambers


"Make no decision without prayer."  Elizabeth George


"Some people think God does not like to be troubled with our constant coming and asking.  The way to trouble God is not to come at all."  D. L. Moody


"Prayer advertises that we are dependent and He is dependable." Mark Dever


"Praying without ceasing isn’t meant to burden us but to liberate us from all our burdens." Burk Parsons


"Prayer should be done regularly, persistently, resolutely, and tenaciously at least daily, whether we feel like it or not." Timothy Keller


"To pray is to accept that we are, and always will be, wholly dependent on God for everything." Timothy Keller


"Pray often, for prayer is a shield to the soul, a sacrifice to God, and a scourge to Satan." John Bunyan


"A prayerless person is a disaster waiting to happen." D. A. Carson


"I am going to judge my circumstances by Jesus’ love, not Jesus’ love by my circumstances." Timothy Keller


"The Bible is a letter God has sent to us; prayer is a letter we send to him." Matthew Henry


"The God who has been sufficient until now can be trusted to the end." C. H. Spurgeon


"If we do not abide in prayer, we will abide in temptation." John Owen


"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety." George Muller


"What wings are to a bird, and sails to a ship, so is prayer to the soul."  Corrie Ten Boom


"Man is at his greatest and highest when upon his knees he comes face-to-face with God."  Martyn Lloyd Jones


"Talk to God through short little prayers throughout your day.  Every prayer doesn't have to be long and eloquent."  Unknown


"If you want that splendid power in prayer, you must remain in loving, living, lasting, conscious, practical, abiding union with the Lord Jesus Christ."  C. H. Spurgeon


"Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?"  Unknown


"Replace worry with prayer.  How do you do that?  You make the decision to pray whenever you catch yourself worrying."  Jim & Elizabeth George


"We can be sure our prayers are answered precisely in the way we would want them to be answered if we knew everything God knows." Timothy Keller

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