Saturday, December 6, 2014

What a Godly Man Wants (In a Wife)

Taken from

This may not come as a surprise to anyone, but most Christian girls want to marry a warrior-poet sort of man. And I don’t blame them. Christ-crafted masculinity is truly a wonder to behold, and true men of God are who true women of God should want to marry. These men are inspired by sacrificial love. They are motivated by the thought of spending their strength to rescue the weak. They have sworn to protect innocence and honor everywhere. They are unafraid of bleeding for their King on a spiritual battlefield, or weeping over the sickening injustice of the sex trade. Their heart is noble. Their eyes are kind, rich, and pure. Their thoughts are lofty and unsullied by worldliness. Why would a young woman not want to marry a man like that?

Nevertheless, I have a “bone to pick” with a mentality that lingers around the halls of Christendom. It is like there is a mysterious think tank out there that breeds this idea that godly, eligible young men need a little nudging in the area of pursuing marriage. There is this unspoken rule that says if a young man is “godly,” tolerably good-looking, and single, then it is his Christian duty to rescue one of the millions of lovely, godly, young ladies from the jaws of certain old maid-dom! The think tank says, “You’re a godly young man, what are you waiting around for? Can’t you see there are plenty of good Christian girls who would love to marry a young man like yourself? Is there something wrong with you? Are you being conceited? Do you need me to introduce you to my daughter?”

Honestly, I am tired of people telling me to stop twiddling my thumbs in a corner and get to work on this marriage business. I am wearied with the unspoken idea that it’s my Christian obligation to simply get married. The think tank says I need to “get to work.” I say, “Waiting on God is the work.” The think tank says that if I want to get married then I need to “get moving.” I say, “Waiting on God is moving forward.”

However, since it seems like this enigmatic think tank takes supreme delight in planning the future marital bliss of warrior-poets such as myself, I am going to do something that will confound them for years to come. I am announcing to the world what a warrior-poet is looking for in a wife. This is not just one young man’s sentimental ideals. This is a peek into the sacred inner depths of warrior-poets everywhere.

Are you ready for this? Take a deep breath, because what I am about to say will probably be shocking! I might get in trouble for saying it, but I have kept it in long enough, and somebody has to say it. So, here goes:

A warrior-poet does not want to marry a nice Christian girl.

There, I said it. Now let me explain what I mean...

A warrior-poet has heard the call of God upon his life and he is sobered by the grim task appointed to him by heaven. He has begged for the harshest tasks, the hardest knocks, and the darkest dens. He is called to battle. He is called to go into the greatest strongholds of hell upon this earth and make a stand for his King. He knows that his very life will likely be sacrificed in order to plant the flag of Jesus upon the highest hill of the land. And he rejoices in his commission. He delights to carry out the enterprise of his heavenly Commander. He is prepared to die a martyr’s death. He has surrendered his right to the joys of marital bliss in order to glorify the King more fully. However, if God graciously allows him to wed, he is not interested in a girl who is infatuated with this world.

A warrior-poet is insulted by the type of man that many Christian girls are attracted to. These are not true men. More often than not, they are completely opposite of what a true man should be. Just because he is a worship leader or youth pastor at your church does not make him a man. Just because he is in a Christian band and is on the radio does not make him a man. Just because the large majority of Christian girls are infatuated with the so-called hunky, vampiric heroics of Edward Cullen, it does not make him a man. The warrior-poet has been tested in the prayer closet, proven in his deportment, and justified by his consistency. He may not be cool by the world’s criterion, but if you want to marry such a man, do not affront his masculinity by being smitten with such paltry examples of manhood.

While nice Christian girls are fairly common, they are not impressive to a warrior-poet. He does not want his future wife wasting her time pining away for him. He wants her to be spending her years of singleness upon the Lord Jesus. He wants to marry a girl who, when he stretches out his neck for the sake of the Gospel, pours his blood out for Jesus’ fame, and earns the privilege of a martyr’s crown, stretches her neck out beside his in glad and joyous love for Christ.

He does not want a girl who trifles with Christianity. He wants a woman who is radically given to Christ. He does not want a girl who prays tepid, lukewarm prayers. He wants a woman who lives in defiance of the powers of hell. He does not want a girl who is adorned with the latest fashions and trends. He wants a woman who is adorned with the inner jewelry of Christ-given holiness. He does not want a girl who dishonors and belittles her parents. He wants a woman who honors the authorities God has placed in her life and serves them with charity and gladness. He does not want a girl whose Bible is an accessory to her wardrobe. He wants a woman whose hunger and thirst is to know the Lord, and who diligently feasts upon His word. He does not want a girl whose tongue is a deceptive weapon of selfishness. He wants a woman whose words drip with the honey of the name of Jesus. He does not want a girl who uses her feminine beauty to seduce, manipulate, and control men. He wants to marry a girl whose body has been surrendered to Christ and is therefore a temple of the Holy Spirit.

A warrior-poet wants an Elisabeth Elliot, who will labor for the Gospel among the very people who took her beloved. He wants a Narcissa Whitman, who will adventurously endure hardship and death alongside her husband. He wants a Betty Stam, who will courageously face death rather than deny her Savior, although it means orphaning her newborn baby. He wants a Catherine Booth, who, though ridiculed and beaten, will unabashedly preach the Gospel to the impoverished and depraved masses. He wants a Sabina Wurmbrand, who will gladly surrender her husband in order that the glory of her King might not be made a mockery. He wants an Amy Carmichael, who will rise up in heroic boldness and defy earthly powers that are hell-bent on allowing the defilement of little girls. He wants a Gladys Aylward, who will persistently follow the call of God. He wants a Maria Dyer Taylor, who will patiently endure derision in order to wait upon God’s timing for marriage with her darling Hudson. He wants a Nancy Judson, who will tirelessly serve him while her husband is in prison for the Gospel. This is the sort of woman a warrior-poet wants.

While the world would see this sort of woman as incredibly boring, repulsive, ghastly, and uninteresting, a warrior-poet finds this sort of woman to be incredibly fascinating, exquisitely attractive, ravishingly gorgeous, stunningly heavenly, and undeniably captivating! She has been crafted by the King, and a warrior-poet cherishes his King’s handiwork. This sort of man will endure the impatience and ruthless criticism of the think tank in order to win such a bride!

So, if you want a warrior-poet for a husband, this is what his heart is drawn to. His heart is irrevocably given to his King, and his greatest wish for a wife is a woman who has given herself in radical abandon to that King. If you want an incredible husband and marriage, then yield yourself to the fires of refinement.

Do not use God as a means for marriage; make God your supreme delight. Forsake all, even the promise of a warrior-poet husband, in order to make much of Jesus. Break your dreams and desires and wishes as fragrant perfume upon the precious head of Jesus. And if you are less attractive to the world, and have a few unsightly calluses, scars, or limps because of living surrendered to God’s work, a warrior-poet will still count you as the most glorious, radiant, blazingly beautiful, and stunningly breathtaking woman to ever grace the planet.


Maleeka said...

Amen! Beautiful. I yield myself to the fires of refinement.

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