Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Reasons Why People Masturbate and View Porn

There are many reasons masturbation and porn consumption continue in our lives on an hourly, daily, weekly, or monthly basis.  Yes, there is an obvious payoff to these choices, yet taking the time to ponder the underlying causes will really bring to light why these addictions have become such a stronghold in our lives and why it has been extremely difficult to break free.

Maybe you are lonely and shy, don't feel the most attractive, and feel unsure how to interact with others in a social scene (much less to get to know someone of the opposite sex who might be a possible choice for a future mate).  If all of this affects your self-esteem and causes feelings of inferiority and insecurity, it is no wonder that porn use and self-gratification continue in your life.  It's so easy to fantasize about the perfect spouse, the perfect sex scene, and to play out scenes in your mind as you masturbate or your thoughts are accompanied by the visual aid of pornography.  Maybe self-gratification is a comfort to you because you haven't been intimate with someone in a while and your ever-raging sex drive is always at work (with your thoughts continually returning to the scenes and images you have seen in porn) and masturbation has become the vehicle to how you achieve orgasm.  If you feel nervous or anxious in social situations, it could be that these two sins bring instant relief to you as they serve as a distraction from the pain you feel when around others, as well as momentarily hushing the voice in your head that whispers, "No one will ever want you.  You're too weird, odd, and strange."

Maybe you are really horny from all the years you would sleep around, or from all of the movies/music/books you have filled your mind with over time and masturbation has turned into something that you seek after to pacify lustful cravings because you aren't currently in a relationship and desire sexual release.

Maybe the childhood abuse you suffered or rape as an adolescent has twisted your view of healthy sexuality and given you a love for that which is degrading and overly-provocative (scenes in porn) since the trauma you experienced has left you feeling like all you're worth is offering your body for the pleasure of people who will use and abuse you and then spit you back out and so excessive porn consumption and an obsession with & inability to stop masturbating has just become normal to you.  You've trained your body to crave getting off and when coupled with feelings of worthlessness and lies about your dignity as a human being WORTH TREASURING that you have rehearsed time and again in your mind, addiction has just become the avenue to silencing that haunting voice for just another hour, another day, another year...

You see, friends, what I have listed here I'm sure is true for some of you.  I am aware there are a ton of reasons why people keep masturbating and keep viewing the destructive influence and brain altering drug of porn despite the consequences they have suffered already and regardless of a future that looks grim because of everything these sins have taken from you and continue to take from you.

I encourage you to reach out for help.  Seriously.  I know how embarrassing it can be to even discuss times of failure/purposed downfalls with trusted friends/accountability partners, but it is so needed.  We will never find healing from the root causes which fuel our addictions if we keep silent about our pain and if we do not bring to light the depths of how steeped we are in the overwhelming reality of addiction in our lives.  Being captive to anything WILL destroy us if we allow it to continue.

Pray for me regarding sexual sin too, please.  The Lord has taught me a lot about sin, possible underlying issues in my own heart and life, ways to walk in freedom, what leads me back down the vicious cycle of addiction, and what precedes giving in...yet I am still in need of great transformation in specific ways.  Pray that God would lead and guide me with what help I can pursue over former strongholds that still rear their ugly head at times (and I will be praying the same for each of you).

All that will matter on the day we stand before our glorious God is if Christ was our addiction so to speak.  Meaning, isn't it an awesome thought to realize that heaven will be filled with real Christians who treasured God and His word and took Him seriously during their brief time on this earth?  It won't contain people who were flippant about the Lord or didn't care much about Him.  Let us be counted among the righteous...and be serious Christians who live to please an audience of One, be diligent about our pursuit of Christ, seek to be proper ambassadors of Him as we live each day, and draw nearer to our Savior with every breath.

A few books I would like to finish/start reading regarding holiness in the life of a believer that I recommend to each of you include:

  • The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges
  • The Mortification of Sin by John Owen
  • Holiness by J. C. Ryle


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