Tuesday, March 17, 2015

How Fantasy Can Dictate Our Actions

"When we live our lives to please the One who created us, our void will always be filled."  Girl Defined

When God says to fear Him, keep His commandments, and walk in purity & obedience, it's because He has our BEST in mind.  Obedience makes us safe.

"All sin, not least sexual sin, begins with the imagination.  What feeds the imagination is of utmost importance in pursuit of righteousness."  D. A. Carson

"Beware what you brood on in secret…for the time will come when what you think about in secret will find expression in act."  Oswald Chambers

Isolation plays a major role in enabling sin.  It is here that we think our most perverse thoughts, watch videos or hear music we would be ashamed over if someone else were in the room, and look at celebrity photos or the Social Media accounts of people we secretly desire at school (maybe even a family friend we've been crushing on for years).  Isolation can rightfully be called, "The seemingly invisible and beginning steps of great compromise and horrid sin."

"The heart is what you are, in the secrecy of your thought and feeling, when nobody knows but God."  John Piper

"Your actions, habits, character, and future are definitely affected by your thoughts."  Elizabeth/Jim George

"'Little' sins have the potential of growing into something that will wound us and others.  All pet sins eventually grow up."  Jen Thorn

"Sin that seems small has a way of snowballing out of control.  Kill it quickly.  Kill it completely."  Ryan Huguley

Sin never stays in a nice little corner.  We WILL lose control.  The more we feed it, the more it grows.  Sin will master us & enslave us.  It will demand more.  Any small sin left unrepented of will lead us down paths we NEVER thought we would go.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself pertaining to fantasy:

  • Are the fantasies realistic?
  • Would I want them to take place in real life?  If not, what is it doing for you to dwell on them in the secrecy of your own mind?  Unchecked, unconfessed (to God, trusted mentors and accountability partners) sin can lead you to do what you never thought you would do.
  • What does fantasy do for you?  Is it a way of escape?  A coping mechanism?
  • When thoughts and masturbation get old and you have been "feeding the beast" of sin all along, what do you suppose will be the next step you will take to satisfy your cravings?  A prostitute maybe?  An affair?  A same-sex relationship?  Sleeping around?  Sex chatting?  Meeting someone online to hook up with?  Rekindling an old flame?  Considering a stint in pornography?  Harming a child or engaging in sexual acts with a minor?

Here are a few questions to discuss with your accountability partner(s).  Please keep in mind that working through any issues (in which you choose fantasy for pleasure or to forget sadness and other emotions or bad memories) and being 100% honest with your answers is a must and will be difficult:

  • How does fantasy profit?  How have your desires become more deviant through fantasizing?
  • What is it about your past or present (or possible fear of the future) that brings the desire to fantasize as a distraction from reality?
  • Long-term, how will a history of escaping into a fantasy world affect your view of life, yourself, time spent with people, sexuality, and relationships?
  • If fantasy leads to masturbation, which typically goes along with the visual aid of pornography, and people need more degrading forms in higher doses over time to achieve the same level of excitement, how much time will it take before you take steps toward acting out what you've seen and dwelt on for so long?
  • If the acts, fetishes, and scenes you fantasize about could actually happen, how would it affect you and the person or people involved?  Would it contribute to their well-being, restoration, and feelings of worth?  Or would it tear down their high view of God, their understanding of who they are in Christ, and the Bible's description of a healthy sex life between one man and one woman in the context of committed and monogamous marriage?
  • If people knew the extent of your fantasies, would you feel ashamed?  If you could act out your fantasies, would the person agreeing to such be a healthy and whole individual or someone with a distorted or destructive view of sexuality and love?
  • How do you think God views your thought life?  Are you aware of the purity in thought God calls us to as believers (Philippians 4: 8)?  This isn't an option.

"Fighting sin moment by moment is like putting out small fires so it prevents a raging forest fire within time."  (Paraphrase of quote by Kieras)

We will never find rest in destructive coping mechanisms.  The pleasures they bring may briefly pacify, but in reality, don't solve anything.

"Don’t do what is right in your own eyes—do what’s right in God’s eyes."  Elizabeth/Jim George

"Just because you don’t care about your sin, doesn’t mean God doesn’t care about it."  Ryan Huguley

No better life than to be genuinely committed to God, treasure & obey His word, live with integrity, and have a clear conscience & accountability!

If fantasizing usually leads to masturbation and porn consumption OR you feel addicted to either, please read the posts on my blog concerning masturbation and pornography.  Check out resources by XXXChurch and Covenant Eyes.  Use an internet filter which blocks inappropriate content from showing and sign up to receive accountability reports which will keep you informed of the web sites the people you know are looking at and the keywords they are searching for.  By using my affiliate code here, you will get the first month free and can read further about this excellent resource by Covenant Eyes.  It costs less than 15 dollars per month for a family plan (includes accountability & filtering) and is a wise investment.  You may also write to me at:  EmmaJoyBlog@gmail.com if you are in need of a friend or counsel that addresses issues of sexual sin from a Biblical standpoint and personal experience.  It would be a delight to hear from you!


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