In this post, I would like to discuss women, provocative attire, and feeling the need to continue pushing the limits with how we act, dress, speak, flirt, dance, etc. to cater to men in general. I would like to address the decision to make destructive choices and how foolish it is to give up your innocence all in the name of fitting in.
It's really interesting how so many women will claim men are jerks and yet these very women do not think about how their actions, choice of clothing (or lack of it!), flirtatious manner, willingness to act in a sensual manner with guy friends, and their constant bringing everything back to sex and perverse conversation adds to the reality of how men are today.
In today's society, with the abundant presence of pornography and music videos, raunchy television programs, reality shows on MTV and VH1 (and HBO, etc.) and music lyrics hailing sex and making it a god, women grow up from the time they are little with the strong belief that as long as they are sexually desirable and willing to cater to a man's every demand (no matter how degrading or disrespectful), that life will go well with them and they can look themselves in the mirror with the assurance that they are desired, wanted, and lusted after and therefore must be a worthwhile contribution to society. WRONG.
Women, do you not care to be treasured and held, gently kissed and admired, known for your intelligence and goals and not merely be seen in the light of how sexually attractive you are? How sad it is to see countless young girls willing to throw themselves at men, or "sext" or even make their own pornography (which, you can be sure, will in some way be regretted and used against them in some way in the future). How unnerving to see girls in junior high willing to engage in sexual acts with guys in high school (or those who lie about their age), all for the fleeting belief that they are wanted.
Girls, you are SO much more than just body parts and how well you perform sexually. It's pretty crazy to realize what girls are willing to do just so they can fit in or not be the victim labeled as a prude.
And guys, it's pathetic how you are willing to lose your virginity to a random girl whom you just met at a party or through a friend all so you are not the laughing stalk among your friends for (supposedly) being the only guy in your grade or group of friends who hasn't gotten any.
Why don't you man up and wait until you're in a committed relationship with a girl you have gotten to know (best in the context of marriage - especially for you Christian guys) instead of wanting the approval and praise of pathetic guys who blindly believe they are a man if they can say they've had sex or wanting to be labeled as a player for all the girls you can use.
Girls and guys, here's a challenge: Think long-term with every decision you make. Here's a list of questions to help you do just that:
- When you meet someone who is more than just a sex object or body to you (or temporary way for you to feel desired) and you pursue a relationship with them hopefully leading to marriage, will you regret not losing your virginity to this precious person and look back in regret that you couldn't share this special experience with them and wasted it on a pointless fling?
- Would getting an STD or unplanned pregnancy fit into your future goals? How do you feel about contracting AIDS or herpes of which there is no cure? What are your thoughts about having a child already or getting an abortion that is sure to haunt you as you age because at one point, you'll realize the act of sex without regarding the fact you could get pregnant and then aborting the kid was a mistake you wish you could take back?
- Do you understand that junior high and high school, as real and problematic as this stage in life is, won't last forever and some of the choices you are making today will affect you possibly for the rest of your life? Man's empty praise and the distorted recognition of others isn't worth making decisions that could drastically alter your life (and hinder your life) for years to come.
- Deep down, who you are when you are alone and awake in the middle of the night with your thoughts and no one to speak to, what is it you really desire? Is it popularity? Is it intimacy? Is it genuine friendship? Is it wanting to be "cool"? This reminds me of bullies at school or kids who rebel. It makes me think these kids are in need of attention, love, care, respect, and recognition, but are going about this in the wrong ways. The same applies to sleeping around or losing your virginity or playing spin the bottle or getting drunk (and a host of other choices). You are asking for the attention you crave in all the wrong ways. It isn't lasting and will not truly satisfy.
What will truly satisfy? What will bring about a healthy self-image, a correct view of others, and a fulfilled life?
- Get right with God and stop playing games with Him (take Christianity seriously. Don't make it only something you do on Sundays).
- Study Christian resources.
- Attend church weekly.
- Form accountability friendships.
- Seek Biblical counsel.
- Pray to God from an honest heart (Psalm 62: 8).
- Listen to worship music and stop filling your mind with garbage (it does affect your views and thoughts!) Use an internet filter on all your devices to stop filthy content from showing (sign up with my affiliate code for "Covenant Eyes" here to get the first month free).
- Practice gratitude.
- Stop complaining.
- Excel in school and do your best at other worthwhile pursuits.
- Devour God's word (and thereby renew your mind - Romans 12: 2).
- Stay away from bad influences (First Corinthians 15: 33).
- Eat healthy.
- Exercise.
- Be content.
- Be patient.
- Clean your room and help with chores (a clutter-free home and clean environment always helps to feel better and more at ease).
- Learn new skills.
- Take walks.
- Go on drives.
- Pursue purity and a righteous life (walking in repentance will spare you a ton of guilt & shame and is in keeping with the word of God and how He calls believers to live).
- Help and encourage others.
- Build friendships with your parents and siblings (a healthy family life, to the best of your ability, will greatly help in having a clearer mind. It makes for a nice atmosphere and brings support).
- Read books that edify and sharpen your mind.
- Start doing your homework the day it is assigned. Don't put chores, work, or responsibilities off until the last moment (or the night before).
- Cook meals.
- Rest in the fact that your life in its entirety is in God's hands and He can be trusted with every detail of it.
- Stop putting yourself down (it doesn't change anything anyway!)
...
What are a few ideas you have to live a healthier life? How can you grow to have a healthier self-esteem to where you don't feel the need to make destructive choices like others your age?
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