Friday, October 10, 2014

Addicted and without Self-Control



Have you ever stopped to consider how you have fallen so deeply into sin?  Do you wonder how it happened and how it's possible that you now have a strong addiction to pornography or can't stop masturbating or have a thought life that is bombarded by sensual thoughts?
What caused this behavior and brought about this constant perversion?  Do you ever feel really dirty, separated from God, isolated from others, and awkward around people because of your filthy mind?  Do you wrestle with the strong urge to view porn to your heart's content and can't go one day without self-gratification?  Do you find yourself becoming a predator in your thoughts and fear what your actions might end up becoming within time?  Is sex always on your mind, to the degree that fantasy is continual and it is the fuel that brings about excessive masturbation and the viewing of pornographic films that just months before you would have cringed at or seen as horrid and wrong?
"Our thinking determines our actions."  Charles Stanley
Do you find yourself lacking self-control over your eyes?  Do you hate how easily you can get aroused and find yourself "undressing" those around you, even when they are fully clothed?

"When you sin, you create something that haunts you and stays with you and chews on you and will devour you. ...After you've done a sin, the sin does you. ...Sin is not done with you after you're done with it.  When you sin, those sins do not just pass away, they take on a being of their own, and they take on a life of their own, and they want to have you and they will chew you and they will devour you.  ...Sins are not things that pass away after you've done them, but they have a power, they have a being, they have a vitality, and they come and they wait for you, and their job is to have you, to devour you, to eat you up."  Timothy Keller

Sin really is horrific.

  • It begins with our thoughts that consume us and take over our very lives.
  • Masturbation becomes old over time and isn't as satisfying as it once was.
  • Our relationship with God and socializing with others suffers because we lose our desire for holiness and being near the God who calls us to purity and a God honoring life and our shame and obsessions for gratification naturally isolates us.
  • We might consider hiring a prostitute or going to strip clubs weekly.
  • ...The desire for becoming a prostitute, stripper or porn star may become something we dwell on, feel like it's where we are headed, or are willing to do so in order to receive sexual pleasure (not even considering the many consequences of this).

If you feel overwhelmed by the choices you have made up until this point and feel devastated and hopeless (and helpless and sad) over how your decisions have impacted your life and relationships, your relationship with the Lord and your career, your health and your finances, your well-being and sanity, your thoughts and your will to live...take heart!  Seriously.  God is the only One who can fully restore us and bring us into a right relationship with Himself where we grow in sanctification over time, our minds are renewed through the regular reading of His word (see Romans 12: 2) and our lives are repaired by Jesus, the One with all power and the only Savior who can transform you from the inside out (no matter how dire your situation is!).  You must keep in mind that God will 100% forgive you for the mess you have made of your life and He is more than able to make you a new creature in Him (see Second Corinthians 5: 17) and He is capable of making you a new person with new desires, longings, and thoughts.  This is such an encouragement!

There might be consequences for your actions and choices (God's forgiveness is total, but consequences are the natural response to bad or sinful choices...consequences do not negate God's forgiveness or take it away).  Just like a good parent would love their child and forgive them yet still allow them to suffer consequences for their actions, so too, God's love is perfect and all-encompassing (and transforming and healing), but consequences may very well happen.  Something very positive about this is how it has the sort of effect on us that opens our eyes to see the importance of avoiding bad situations, people, thoughts, and actions in the future so we won't continue making the same destructive choices.

I know from experience how sin can eat away at the very fabric of our sanity, can overwhelm and ruin us, destroy our self-esteem, and keep us in bondage.  I know what it's like to be in the midst of addiction, feel stressed at the thought of being found out, and feeling dirty and just wanting to stay away from people because of my shame and awkwardness due to previous choices.  I know what it's like to feel suicidal because I couldn't overcome my strongholds on my own.  I know what it's like to not even enjoy my sin much anymore but to feel inclined and forced to keep giving in.
I also know what it's like to be totally restored and be reconciled to those I have sinned against.  I know what it's like to learn lessons with God and not keep going down the same paths that lead to my downfall.  I know what it's like to gain control over my thoughts and have self-control of my eyes (and even choose to look away instead of granting myself the freedom to view people I find attractive and not allow a second glance, which turns into an intent and extended beholding, which then becomes fantasy later on or another "victim" on the fantasy canvas in my mind; for more on making your own porn, read this).
If you can't overcome sin in your life (and I'm sure you can't), seek help.  Like really, seek help.  Why would you wait?  Especially when you consider the fact that sin always takes more from us than we want to give and leaves us more empty and degraded than we had first envisioned.  Don't put off seeking help and exposing the depths of your sin to trusted mentors and godly role models.  You don't know where your sin will lead you, you really don't.  Please don't put it off.
Check out the posts on my blog under the labels:  "About Masturbation", "About Pornography", "Homosexuality", "Repentance", "Purity" and "Sin".
Follow me on Twitter at FuelingLust.

Here is a blog post I wrote for a ministry called, "God Over Porn" which lists excellent resources at the end of it.
You may write to me at:  if you need support, Biblical counsel, prayer, or a mentor who knows what it's like to be caught up in sin and experience true freedom (God continues to transform and restore me).
And don't forget to devour God's word or listen to an audio Bible daily.  God's word is what reshapes our thinking, convicts us of our sins, and gives us an accurate view of God's character, His view of sin, His salvation and forgiveness, ourselves, and all of life.

Jesus is worth it.

You have nothing to lose & everything to gain!


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