Sunday, July 13, 2014

Healthy Alternatives to Masturbation


Hopefully you won't be needing this anymore

I recently read somewhere that masturbation is "an escape from reality."  As I thought about this, I realized just how true it is.  Getting caught up in fantasy and then seeking sexual release through self-gratification (or at least to feel good for a while) is surely a way to escape reality for the time.  The issue then becomes seeking masturbation as a way of coping with stress and wanting to indulge in this to escape our current pain or heartache from the relationships in our lives.
The question shouldn't be, "Is masturbation an okay way to deal with stress?" but rather, "Is there a different coping mechanism I can use to deal with stress that won't result in addiction and honors God?"
I have found a few helpful ways to cope with stress instead of turning to self-gratification:
  • Not allowing myself to have times when I am isolated away from people and to instead be around people as often as I can (Isolation + stress + the internet and all its readily available temptations & photographs & videos - or music videos, R rated films, etc. = indulgence, fantasy, masturbation).  I use Covenant Eyes accountability report and filtering service which blocks sinful content from showing and sends a report of every web site I click on or keyword I search for to the people of my choosing.  This has been greatly beneficial and profoundly helpful in avoiding hours of wasted time viewing porn.  If you would like to sign up for Covenant Eyes service using my affiliate code here, you will get the first 30 days free.
  • Taking three mile walks to take my mind off of the temptation (you could also go on a drive, work out at the gym, play sports, or spend time at the park or go window shopping at stores like Ikea or Target - or whatever stores/places are of no consequence and won't stir up lust in your heart; which for me is typically the mall -)
  • Do chores.  Clean your room, take care of all the dishes and laundry, dust, organize, get rid of stuff, consider what items or clothes/shoes you can donate to a local charity, sort through old envelopes and junk mail to see what to keep and what to throw away...(Listening to an audio Bible or beautiful music while cleaning will be profitable because you are renewing your mind, enjoying clean entertainment and putting the house in order!)
  • Call everyone you know to say hi and catch up on what's going on with them or ask how their day is going
  • Don't be idle.  Find something to work on, write a letter to someone who would be blessed by the unexpected note, cook a meal or make dessert as a distraction, or listen to sermons non-stop by your favorite Pastor or Christian speaker/thinker.  A few of my favorites include John Lennox, Ravi Zacharias, Timothy Keller, and the speakers at Stand to Reason!
In order to get a hold of our desires, we must be willing to part ways with our tendency to continue running back to them.  We must choose a different pathway with each temptation instead of just casually turning to our lust and giving in because we are used to it.  Please keep in mind that just because it feels good does not give us the freedom to indulge in impurity when life is stressful.
Pray daily that God would show you healthy alternatives and God honoring coping mechanisms to turn to each time you are tempted to masturbate.
Victory won't be ours is a process, so don't be discouraged when you fail.  At the same time though, don't use to your advantage the fact that overcoming sin takes time.
Continue committing your struggles to the Lord and put up "fortresses" that protect you from running back to what clearly enslaves you.  I named a few fortresses above...what others can you think of?


Sharon Ordor said...

Memorising scripture, so as to have a comeback to all the Devil's lies could also be helpful. This is an excellent post by the way. Keep this up :)

Emma Joy said...

Thank you, Sharon! I appreciate the feedback.

Memorizing Scripture is a great way to combat the enemy's lies. Indeed, it is the only true way to do so!

Emma Joy

Anonymous said...

A very good read.... Such a motivator you are!!!!!

Emma Joy said...

Thank you! It's good to know my efforts are making a difference.

Anonymous said...

I have been battling this recently. Thank you for your non-judgemental post...I will keep the "escape from reality" thought in my mind and focus on the more positive ways I cope with stress with God's help!

Emma Joy said...

Thank you for your comment. You see that my writing is non-judgmental. That is exactly how I want to come across because I understand.

I think it's great that you're keeping in mind the "escape from reality" thought because the fact is, we have to live in reality and any attempt to bypass it will bring consequences and mess up our thought life and view of others.

Keep focusing on more positive ways to cope with stress. With God's help, accountability, and possibly even biblical counsel, you can overcome this.

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