Monday, October 19, 2015

God's Ability to Use and Restore the Most Sinful Wretch among Us

If you feel bad about yourself, I really want to write words of encouragement to you in this post. If you feel worthless, hopeless, alone, or like your life will never be restored, I hope the following blesses you and gives you hope.

Having grown up in America, I can testify to the reality that consumerism, popularity, sex appeal, and the pursuit of anything that will make you happy leaves many people broken and suffering. I understand what it is like to be shy, to not have many friends, to be addicted to various forms of pleasure, to have a problem with self-injury and self-loathing, to compare myself to others, to not have money, to be the awkward one in the crowd, and to have zero confidence.

I also know what it is like to have grown in Christ to the extent that I have been restored, my past no longer haunts me, I am riddled with guilt no more, to have been restored in ways I never thought possible or even imagined, to have money for needs and wants, to feel secure with who I am as a person and to find my worth in Jesus, to offer God my life in its entirety with a peaceful trust and blessed assurance that He will always answer and act in the best, wisest, and most beneficial way possible; to my growth and sanctification & His honor and praise.

I know what it's like to be envious of others, to mock God in anger, to have issues with my appearance, to desire a more active social life, to not fit in, to have been the girl in high school who both dyed her hair bright colors and dressed in Gothic attire with makeup and demeanor to match. I know what it's like to have planned my suicide and scared family or friends in the process, to have been caught in a twisted web of poor choices and painful consequences suffered, to have been made fun of as a child and teenager, to have failed classes and gone to a continuation school because ditching too often and not completing school work led to no longer being able to stay at a regular high school, to have deeply wounded people by mean words, to be in a relationship with someone who was controlling, obsessive, jealous and possessive, to have gone from wearing scantily clad attire to hating men to the degree that I intentionally dressed covered up or wore clothes two sizes too big so I wouldn't be found attractive, to lay on the floor hysterically crying or cry myself to sleep many times, to have not graduated high school, and so much else.

I also know what it's like to have friends or family whose friendship has been a rich blessing, to have the luxury of working from home and studying often, to mentor youth and people of all ages or backgrounds as I share and dialogue about what I have gone through in life, who Christ is, and the miraculous ways He has transformed my life. I know what it's like to be comforted by God through His word and His people in the darkest of trials and to have found freedom through Christ over strongholds I had been carrying for years.

The point of stating all of this is to share with each of you that I am just a person like you, a sinful wretch apart from Jesus whose hand I must cling to at all times or I will stray on paths that lead to nothing but a labyrinth of pain and hurt, that I have a very real past and go through difficulty like everyone else which has the potential of shaking my faith or leading me to actual suicide. I want to be a humble servant and obedient slave of Christ yet realize how much Christianity requires of us; it is all or nothing and sometimes it is tempting to just walk away completely because I believe the lies of the enemy that being a "sovereign self" and doing what I please will prove to be a better life than being safe in the midst of God's perfect will.

It is by God's intervention alone that I didn't destroy myself through willful sin and stubborn rebellion. It is through Jesus alone who allowed some of the most bitter trials that lasted a lot longer than I thought they would (even thinking that I would just die in that condition because I saw no way of breaking free) who through such misery and constant questions or putting myself down and comparing myself to others that I grew to have a deep love for the Bible and a genuine commitment to the God who is worthy of all praise. It is through the depths of poor choices and selfishness, the consequences suffered, and as Corrie Ten Boom said, "You will never know that Christ is all you need until Christ is all you have" that I realized truly how perfect God is and how great my need was for Him.

"There is not a trial or difficulty, not a disappointment or vexation, but is God’s chosen instrument for making us holy." Andrew Murray

No matter what you have done, no matter the circumstances you find yourself in today, no matter how low you feel or how much you doubt that God can redeem and revive a sinful wretch like you, I plead with you to get on your face before God, even this very moment, and surrender all to the God who loves you and gave His Son to redeem you from the punishment we all deserve: an eternity separated from Almighty God. Begin to read God's word daily without fail. Have a constant conversation with God about everything from the smallest details like finding a parking spot at a crowded mall to beseeching the Lord on behalf of the homosexual couple living next door or your wayward child whose new found disinterest in God has broken your heart. Offer God a willing heart to do with as He wills. Commit your life to God in its entirety. Ask God to make your life count for eternity and pray that He would work in and through your life to the extent that being a willing vessel to be used of God bears much spiritual fruit and reaches people for the eternal Kingdom of God!

If you fear giving God full control of your life, consider His character as shown in the Bible. Yes, the Bible warns in Galatians 6: 7 that we shall reap what we sow. This in no way takes away God's forgiveness for our past or present choices, nor does it render us useless at the thought of God using our failures and rebellion as a warning to others and to offer hope to them that feel they have messed up too much in life.

"God is merciful to reveal/expose our sin. God is merciful to use us in spite of our sin." Nancy Leigh DeMoss

I invite you to write to me and share your life's story. Tell me what is on your heart. I would love to correspond about such important matters because I know firsthand what it is like to shake at the thought of giving God my future and to have grown in Him over the course of half a decade as I have seen that God truly is good and He can turn our lives around for His glory and the benefit and help of others in ways we never thought possible. Send a note my way at: or write through the contact form on my blog.

"When we murmur/complain, we're really saying we reject God’s choices, His authority, and His right to rule over our lives/this world." Nancy Leigh DeMoss


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