Sunday, September 21, 2014

How Sexual Sin Consumes Us



Sexual sin...
It promises freedom and brings bondage.  It promises pleasure and we end up with pain.  It frees us from life's issues for the moment yet those problems doubly haunt us when we face reality once again.
It destroys intimacy in marriage and steals so much more than it gives.  It kills our ability to become aroused by normal people and trains our minds and bodies to respond to exaggerated sex scenes on a screen.  It fools us into believing we are desired, while causing any pleasure in our marriages to literally cease because porn has become the cheap substitute and quick fix when we are feeling low.
It hurts our children as they see mommy or daddy spending so much time consumed behind a computer screen or watching "those bad videos" when they wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and you are glued to the television set observing sexual acts that turn you on when you aren't even a part of them.
It ruins our self-esteem because overtime we come to believe all we are worth is being isolated and getting ourselves off to what we now realize is an unrealistic fantasy with partners we can't even touch but have wasted many hours thinking about.
It consumes us.  Takes up time at work.  We might even go to the restroom in the middle of class to watch the newest scene of one of our favorite porn stars.  It takes our time away from what really matters.
It harms our view of others and distorts the way we see people.  It causes us to hate ourselves because we have been engulfed by this poison and drives us to return to it once again to deal with overwhelming feelings of loneliness, shame, regret, and guilt.
It stirs up insatiable lust in our hearts and turns us into a monster, hungry and willing to prey upon the weak (either by the consumption of those in porn films or within time harming another person or child to try and receive the initial high we once experienced when we first began viewing porn).
It creates an attraction in our minds toward many absurd fetishes and may even bring about a longing for the same sex.
It promises happiness as we blindly delight in any genre we find appealing and leaves us empty, feeling dirty and alone.
It brings feelings of worthlessness and leaves us hopeless when we consider the many hours we have spent on searching for erotic movies and images, all the while our very real and daily present marriages have been put on the backburner and become lifeless overtime because we treated them as a lesser priority; insignificant and unworthy of fighting for.
It bonds us with other porn addicts to the degree that chatting in forums or speaking in code among other friends we know who also love porn has become normal and we no longer see the depravity and utter shame there is in using such language to describe people and sexual acts.
It softens our heart toward hardcore porn, as the everyday stuff or even girl on girl no longer has the same appeal.
Sex then becomes an obsession and all we think about.  It affects our dreams, our thoughts, our bodies, our emotions, our relationships, our financial situation, our time, our health due to lack of sleep, and our walk with God.
We may begin feeling suicidal because we feel unable to stop even when we realize how far we have fallen.  We might feel dirty but this doesn't help.  Then we sleep with prostitutes and tell our spouse we will be working late (three times a week) when really, we spend those extra hours at strip clubs, sex shops or massage parlors (if these are still around).  We find ourselves doing what we never thought we would do, desiring what would have been abhorrent in our sight just months before, and crave our next fix...even if it requires viewing child porn or gay porn overtime to get aroused since all the other junk is no longer as appealing.
When our spouses ask us why we no longer pursue them sexually, we make some lame excuse.  Then when they pursue us for sex, we can't get aroused because real people seeking to arouse us can in no way compare to the instant pleasure we get when our eyes see anything we can think of in porn films to our heart's content.
We become moody and easily angered, frustrated and often upset.  We begin having a negative or emotionless view of the world around us and give up overtime...on our families, the pursuit of a good career, time spent doing hobbies or hanging out with friends...all we want to do is sleep (then view porn upon waking up) then harm ourselves through excessive alcohol, drug use, or self-injury and may consider suicide because we cannot take what our lives have become.
Without seeking help and bringing our sin to light, we continue on a downward spiral of destruction by our own choosing and our own making.  We might even blame others for this.  All this time, we cling to our fantasies, feed them through pornographic films, tease ourselves through masturbation, become addicted, and lose everything overtime.
Is it worth it?

If you feel unable to stop your addiction to porn and realize your desperate need for repentance, sign up for Covenant Eyes accountability report and filtering service using my affiliate code here and you will get the first month free (after this, it costs between ten and twelve dollars per month which is a small price to pay for its great and lasting benefits).  I cannot even begin to express how much having an internet filter on my computer has spared me the often use of pornography.  All the times I could have viewed porn in the middle of the night or when no one was home...were hindered and put to a stop because Covenant Eyes service blocked sinful content from appearing.  Please, please don't fall for the lie that you can clean up your own life or that it makes you a weak person if you can't stop viewing porn without a filtering service.  There is something about sexual sin that tightly grasps us & clings to us and will not let go without the daily choice to fight these sins to the death.  Please also reach out for help or support!  It will make a world of difference.  If you would like to write to me, I will gently and humbly point you to helpful resources that will enable you to conquer an addiction to porn.  You may write at:

"No one is in such bad shape that God cannot radically change them."  Anonymous


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