Saturday, May 31, 2014

Making the Choice to Flee Temptation


Sexual sin can be extremely difficult to overcome.

If we regularly view pornography, or even sporadically for that matter, our bodies and minds get used to the exaggerated thrill of seeing really anything we desire sexually by the simple click of a button & the excitement and pleasure received from it keeps us going back for more.

Add to this the reasons we continue going back to porn (and with it, masturbation) to begin with and you really have a recipe for disaster.

I have often told my brother that following the motto, "If it feels good, do it" is not the best option for decision making.

There are many reasons people feel drawn to pornography and feel as though they cannot escape the lure of it and the trap it has become; like it has ensnared and entangled them and they truly cannot see a way out.

Maybe you feel tempted to view pornography the times you feel lonely, unwanted, bored, depressed, or just want to feel good.  The frequency you view it may differ depending on what is going on in your life at the time, how busy you are, or who is home or at the office on specific days which makes it quite difficult to indulge whenever you please.

Pornography is a cheap substitute for true healing.  So many times, we might want to numb our hearts from past hurts or current issues and want a quick fix for the moment (or three hours!) as a distraction from dealing with the root issues in our lives or working on the lack of restoration in our relationships, so we continually go back to porn and self-gratification as a coping mechanism or enjoyable distraction from what we really should be doing.


Here is a list of questions to assist you on the road to recovery:

  • List ten deeply seated issues, strongholds, or problems you clearly know are there that you have been seeking to avoid fixing or asking for help over.
  • Name ten emotions that have gone haywire in your life (emotions you feel which typically precede the action of viewing pornography or wanting to masturbate).
  • If you were offering advice or counsel to someone you dearly love over the exact issues you yourself are dealing with and they longed to view porn as a coping mechanism, what healthy alternatives to handling stress would you offer?
  • On a scale of one to ten, what value do you put on the importance of being totally surrendered to God and walking in His will (pleading with God to allow only His will to prevail in all aspects of your life)?
  • How much of a priority to you is daily reading the Bible and memorizing Scripture?
  • What fears do you have at the realization that confessing your sin - exposing your sin and bringing it to light - to a trusted godly friend or mentor (or Pastor, youth worker, or small group leader) is a crucial step in healing and recovery from porn use?
  • I know from experience the major role seeking Biblical counsel over issues I struggle with or questions/objections I have pertaining to a variety of topics plays in restoration and the beginning of dealing with underlying issues that cause our sinful behavior to begin with.  That said, are you willing to set up a weekly counseling session with someone at a Bible-believing church who can help you week by week sort through your past or current strongholds and problems?
  • What entertainment entices you to give in to pornography?  This might include music videos, television shows which contain partial nudity and perverse humor, magazines, articles about sex, books, or spending time at the mall and seeing all of the airbrushed photos, skimpy outfits in store windows, and basically half-nude women walking around.  Be willing to part ways with all of this and it will greatly help diminish your longing for instant gratification in the form of sexual acts on film or in pornographic images.

A lesson is to be learned from the kid who throws a tantrum at the toy store, all to discover that their persistence and crying has gotten them nowhere when the parent firmly says no.  Similarly, our minds and bodies might cry out for pornography, yet this does not require giving in.  Just because the child throws a fit to get his or her way and won't stop without a fight, so too, we must choose day by day and hour by hour to fight our sins to the death instead of just pacifying them because they initially won't take no for an answer.

As I have stated in a previous post, keeping unhealthy food at home is almost a guarantee that I will give in (even if only a few bites) - which is exactly why I must say no and not allow the stuff in my house.  If my favorite dessert is easily accessible, what is to stop me from having it?  If we do not use an accountability report and filtering service on all our devices like Covenant Eyes (you can use my affiliate code here and get 30 days free) and if we will not delete the pornographic images saved on the computer or our favorite scenes in that hidden folder on the laptop, or throw away the stash of magazines we recently purchased or the new DVD of films (conveniently all on one DVD) of our favorite porn star, what is to stop us from giving in the next time our "beloved" sin beckons us once again?

Having a game plan in mind ahead of time will better ensure our victory of not giving in to the lure of porn.  And dealing with the underlying issues that cause our behavior to start with will greatly propel us toward lasting freedom.


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