"Darkening Our Minds: The Problem of Pornography Among
Christians"
by Joe Dallas
I remember clearly, and with
inexpressible regret, the night I walked into an adult bookstore and entangled
myself in the use of pornography. I was a 23-year-old former minister at the
time, well on my way toward a fully backslidden state, and I was considering
whether to indulge in the many sexual sins that I had, at that point, only
allowed myself to imagine. That evening in the spring of 1978, my decision was
sealed when I embraced what I now call the “dark magic.”
The “magical” qualities of
pornography were obvious and immediate. One glance around that roomful of
graphic sexual images sent a rush through my system very much like a narcotic
response. The longer I gazed, the more intoxicated I became, and over the next
few hours the porn brought me temporary escape and exhilaration. I’d found a
new drug, and it seemed to work beyond my expectations.
The darker aspects of this newfound
magic soon became clear to me. I revisited the same porn shop nightly for the
next two weeks. I then spiraled into the use of prostitutes, an affair with a
married woman, homosexuality, and a five-year habit of reckless, degrading
sexual practices. It began with the use of pornography, a product I continued
to consume during my backslidden years, and which I have come to regard much
the way an addict regards a drug—a destructive vice I have to strenuously
avoid, always remembering its lethal impact on my life.
The Problem that Grows Unnoticed
That same lethal impact is being
felt on a broader level today as pornography’s availability has reached levels
unimaginable twenty-five years ago. Through cable, videotape and DVD products,
and the Internet, virtually anyone wanting to view porn is able to do so with
minimal effort. The statistics on porn usage, therefore, while tragic,
shouldn’t be surprising:
• During the single month of January
2002, 27.5 million Internet users visited pornographic websites.
• Americans spent an estimated $220
million on pornographic websites in 2001, according to a New York-based
Internet research firm. (The same firm, Jupiter Media Metrix, noted that the
$220 million figure was up from $148 million in 1999; Americans are expected to
spend $320 million annually on porn sites by the year 2005.)
• In a national survey polling 1,031
adults, Zogby International and Focus on the Family found that twenty percent
of the respondents had recently visited a pornographic site. Every month
millions of people stop what they’re doing to look at erotic images and, in
most cases, pretend that they are sexually interacting with the women or men on
display. It makes St. John’s description of the world—a place
dominated by the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes (1 John 2:16 )—chillingly relevant.
What, at first glance, appears to be
a secular problem is, in fact, a problem more commonly found among Christians
than any of us would care to admit. Over eighteen percent of the men polled in
the Zogby/Focus survey cited above, for example, identified themselves as
Christian believers. The Promise Keepers Men’s Conference conducted an
informal poll during its 1996 rally and this poll yielded even more dismal
results when one out of three men in attendance admitted they “struggled” with
pornography. Finally, the Colorado-based Focus on the Family organization
reports that seven out of ten pastors who call their toll-free help line claim
to be addicted to porn.
The use of pornography is not
restricted to men, either, as is often assumed. Thirty-four percent of the
readers of the popular magazine Today’s Christian Woman admitted to the
use of Internet pornography, and the Zogby/Focus poll indicated one out of
every six women surveyed viewed pornography regularly. James P. Draper,
president of Life Way Christian Resources, was hardly exaggerating when he
stated, “It appears the sin of choice among Christians today is pornography.”
Considering the prevalence of
pornography use among Christians, it’s time we examine the effect it’s having
on individuals and families within the church and on our Christian witness in a
secular and increasingly sexualized culture.
Defining Pornography
Webster defines pornography as
“obscene literature or art.” This leaves the term “obscene” open to
interpretation since a good deal of socially acceptable material may be obscene
to some while artistic to others. The legal definition of obscenity, however,
as established by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1973, narrows the term:
1. While applying contemporary
community standards and taken as a whole, it is something that the average
person would consider appeals to prurient interest.
2. The work (or material) depicts or
describes sexual conduct in a patently offensive way as specifically defined by
the applicable state law.
3. The work, taken as a whole, lacks
serious literary, artistic, political, and scientific value. By this
three-part standard, sexually explicit videotapes, DVDs, magazines, and
websites qualify as porn. Honesty and common sense will also allow that any
visual material used to incite an erotic response, even if the material is not
generally considered obscene, becomes a form of pornography to the individual
who uses it to that end. For the purposes of this article, however, we’ll use the
Supreme Court’s definition as a reference point.
The Lethal Effects of Pornography
The use of pornography, I believe,
weakens the church today in three significant ways: First, it creates a dependency
on pornography that weakens the individual believer. Second, it causes a disruption
of the “one-flesh” union that weakens Christian marriages. Third, it results in
a distortion in thinking that weakens a Christian’s ability to relate
and function.
A Dependency That Weakens the
Individual Believer
The value of personal freedom is an
ongoing biblical theme. Adam was created under God’s authority with the freedom
to choose, manage, and procreate (Gen. 1:27–30); Israel’s slavery was an evil
that God sent Moses to confront and dismantle (Exod. 3–15); Jesus began his
public ministry by announcing he had come, among other things, to set captives
free (Luke 4:18); and Paul asserted that liberty is what God has called us to,
that Christian liberty should be protected, and that bondage is to be avoided
(Gal. 5:1, 13). The Judeo-Christian ethic places a high premium on personal
freedom and condemns anything that restricts or prohibits a person from
reaching his or her God-given potential. If liberty is good, it stands to
reason that addiction—a dependence on a certain behavior or experience—is bad;
and if something can be shown to be addictive, that in itself becomes a strong
argument against it.
There are limits to this argument,
to be sure. Most would agree that caffeine is an addictive substance, and yet
coffee drinking is generally not frowned on; nor is the use of sugar, which
many consider a relatively addictive substance. What distinguishes these
substances from cocaine or heroin is the degree to which their use impairs a
person’s freedom and productivity.
A woman who drinks three cups of
coffee daily, for example, is different than a woman with a
thousanddollar-a-day heroin habit. Both of them may be, in the strictest sense,
dependent on their drug of choice, and so their freedom is impaired. The coffee
drinker is not, however, in virtually all cases, significantly and functionally
impaired by her drug. She can operate on the job, maintain focus and stability,
and manage personal responsibilities quite well despite her habit. The heroin
user, in contrast, is rendered largely dysfunctional by her drug, will often
resort to illegal activities to support her use of it, and is affected by
heroin in such a way that it becomes increasingly difficult for her to sustain
even the most primary human relationships. Both women are in bondage to some
degree, but there’s a huge contrast in the nature of their bondage and in its
impact on their general abilities.
The nature of immorality and its
impact on a person’s abilities are described in Scripture as “enslaving”: “His
own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the
cords of his sins” (Prov. 5:22). Peter described the false promise of freedom
through immorality: “They allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much
wantonness….While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants
of corruption; for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in
bondage” (2 Pet. 2:18–19).
Bondage to a sexual sin—a growing
dependency on the sin, similar to dependency on a drug—often goes unrecognized
because addiction to a behavior is a relatively new concept to many people.
Most mental health professionals agree that people can become addicted to
chemicals. Many of them also recognize the possibility of becoming addicted to
an experience. Those who believe in this possibility—myself included—believe
addiction to an experience, such as gambling or the use of porn, follows a
threefold pattern: the discovery of a hyperstimulating experience, the repetition
of the experience, and an eventual dependence on the experience as a
means of functioning or coping.
Discovery, Repetition, Dependence
When pornography is viewed for the
first time—discovered, as it were—the viewer experiences a unique rush,
accompanied by a strong sexual fantasy. The viewer is not, after all, simply
enjoying the sight of another person’s body, potent as that pleasure might be.
He is also creating an imaginary bond with the image he’s viewing, enjoying a
false but potent connection in which he orchestrates and controls the entire
sexual encounter. He has, in short, discovered a powerful and rewarding
product, and like any consumer, he will be inclined to repeat its use until he
no longer simply enjoys it but becomes dependent on it.
Christian counselor Robert Ellis describes
this hyperstimulating experience much as one would describe a narcotic rush:
“Use of pornography creates an exotic combination of internal stimulants which
cascade through the bloodstream like liquid flesh. They create a sense of
relief, excitement, exhilaration, or pleasure—when these pleasurable, relieving
surges get grooved into association with pornography, the flesh gains control
over the spirit and the problem becomes one of addiction. It is not uncommon
for pornography to elicit internal surges as addictive as cocaine.”
This “addictive as cocaine”
experience is shared by millions of pornography’s consumers, as evidenced by
the National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity, which estimates between
six to eight percent of Americans display symptoms of sexual addiction
(percentages that translate into 16 to 21 million citizens). Indeed, an MSNBC
poll showed that in a sampling of 38,000 respondents, one out of every ten
persons surveyed indicated they were addicted to sex on the Internet.
Any form of sexual sin is serious,
whether or not the person committing it is “addicted” to the sin or indulging
it only on occasion; but when a person becomes dependent on that behavior as a
source of comfort or relief, the problem of sin is now accompanied by the
problem of bondage. When numerous Christians have come under such bondage, the
entire church, like a body with parts that are diseased or crippled, must
suffer.
A Disruption That Weakens Christian
Marriages
Further problems are created when the
use of pornography invades Christian marriages. It will eventually disrupt the
unity, both sexual and emotional, that is vitally crucial to stable marital
life.
When a group of Pharisees questioned
Jesus on the ethics of divorce (Matt. 19:4–6), He articulated a basic standard
for the human sexual experience: sexual union is to be heterosexual (“He made
them male and female”), independent (“a man shall leave father and mother”),
and monogamous (“one flesh”). Paul added that within the sanctity of a monogamous
and permanent commitment, husband and wife are to attend to each other’s sexual
needs (1 Cor. 7:4–5) and reserve their sexual energies for each other, thus
preserving the uniqueness of their bond and avoiding moral transgressions (1
Cor. 7:2).
The benefits of a “one-flesh” union
are confirmed elsewhere in Scripture. A cursory look at Old and New Testament
figures confirms the wisdom of monogamy and the chaos introduced by infidelity,
polygamy, or loss of sexual control, all of which play key roles in some of the
Bible’s greatest tragedies. Witness the bitter rivalry between Abraham’s wife
and her maid and the painful repercussions that result, the foolish loss of
judgment that came with Herod’s sexual obsession with his stepdaughter, the
death of a child and permanent family curse caused by David’s adultery, and the
spiritual decline of Solomon’s faith because of his appetite for foreign women.
A fundamental lesson emerges: The one-flesh union provides psychological safety
to individuals, stabilizes the family, and enhances productivity and order
within the community.
Jesus further clarified the concept
of the one-flesh union when He declared that adultery is not limited to actions
but can also occur in the heart: “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old
time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whos
oeverlooketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her
already in his heart” (Matt. 5:27–28). Pornography, which necessitates lusting
after strangers, accordingly disrupts the one-flesh union, depriving husband
and wife of the very benefits the Bible promises to those who remain
monogamous.
In concurrence with the Bible, a
growing number of secular theorists are also celebrating the wisdom of
monogamous commitment. Studies show that it enhances the life span of men and
women who practice it and that the quality of life improves in proportion to
the practice of fidelity. Drug and alcohol abuse dropped significantly among married
test subjects in a University of Chicago study, and monogamous individuals made
more money, had twice as much sex as their nonmonogamous counterparts, and
experienced half the domestic violence of those studied who either lived
together unmarried or lived alone.
In light of this, pornography is
shown to be especially crippling to marriages, as it damages the ability of its
users to maintain an ongoing, committed union. The claim that it is a harmless
product and practice belies the biblical and secular evidence that it violates
the one-flesh standard. The man using pornography violates this standard,
whether he is married or single. If he is single, he violates it by engaging in
random sexual fantasies with the innumerable women he views in magazines or
pornographic websites. He is, in essence, attempting to enjoy the ecstasy of
sexual union without any of its commitments or responsibilities and thus
creates a false, temporal bond with phantoms. Since a one-flesh union is both
authentic and exclusive, he is falling far short of the biblical standard.
When a married man uses porn, he
violates the Matthew 5 standard as well: the sexual energy he has pledged to
reserve for his wife is now being invested into his private fantasies. He is,
in essence, embezzling from his spouse what is rightfully hers, and is instead
spending it irresponsibly, much as a gambler steals funds from his employer to
support his habit. What properly belongs to one person is thus stolen, making
the term “cheating” all the more applicable.
Secular studies confirm the
crippling effect of pornography on a person’s ability to maintain a monogamous
bond. Researchers Dolf Zimmerman and Jennings Bryant, for example, noted that
continued exposure to pornography increased its user’s desires for sexual
contacts and behaviors outside their marriages, and author Diana Russell
found that pornography leads men and women to experience conflict, suffering,
and sexual dissatisfaction.
Common sense would lead to the same
conclusion. Each of us contains a limited amount of sexual/emotional energy,
which will either be reserved for a monogamous bond or spent elsewhere. Our
ability to sustain a bond with one partner cannot help but be impacted by the
level of energy we’ve reserved for that partnership.
As a counselor, I see this principle
played out repeatedly. When a husband engages in the use of pornography, his
wife almost always notices a certain detachment on his part: less time, less
sexual interaction, less attention. She suffers; he embezzles; everyone loses.
Pornography systematically weakens marriages within the body of Christ, for it
disrupts the bonds crucial to a healthy marriage.
A Distortion That Darkens the
Christian Mind
The eye is indeed the lamp of the
body (Matt. 6:22–23). If a person’s eye is perpetually exposed to darkness,
there comes an inevitable distortion in that person’s thinking. It is in this
darkening of the mind that pornography makes its leap from an act that is
morally repugnant to one that has frightening consequences. “Evil
communications corrupt good manners” (1 Cor. 15:33), Paul warned, and the
impact on the mind of a Christian consistently exposed to the wrong types of
communication is immeasurable.
Zimmerman and Bryant, for example,
found that continued exposure to pornography affected a male viewer’s basic
beliefs about sexuality in general and women in particular. They likewise
noted that exposure to porn increased its viewers’ desires for deviant
behaviors, such as sado-masochism, and also desensitized their attitudes toward
rape. Psychologist Edward Donnerstein of the University of Wisconsin came to
similar conclusions, noting that even brief exposure to violent forms of
pornography led to antisocial attitude and behavior. Clinical psychologist
Victor Kline concurs, noting that men who consume pornography on a regular
basis experienced increased aggression in attitude and behavior, noticed an
increase in “rape fantasies,” and felt increased indifference toward women in
general.
Like any drug, pornography’s effects
vary according to the general health of the individual who uses it. In other
words, while a person will be adversely affected by using an illegal drug, the
specific effect will probably vary from person to person. A person already
predisposed toward violence may well become more violent when intoxicated; a
person more inclined to depression may find himself acutely suicidal when under
the influence. Similarly, not every porn user becomes a rapist or sexual
deviant, but there can be no question of its adverse effects on the user’s
thinking.
I can testify to this firsthand,
both as a former user of pornography and as a counselor. Having discovered the
“dark magic,” I found myself increasingly withdrawn from genuine interpersonal
relationships and more isolated, defensive, and detached. Accustomed to the
false world of phantom relations, I found real relations less and less
tolerable. I also developed a callousness toward women, which I repeatedly see
in my clients. They existed for me—I visually used them daily via magazines and
videos; I controlled them in my fantasy world; and I became less tolerant of
any defects in real women as I spent more time in the company of unreal, though
perfect, images of women. I had discovered a world in which both I and all
around me would be perfect. In the shadowlands of pornographic imagery, people
existed for my pleasure, and I existed to rule and indulge. In short, I had
adopted a mindset so far away from the mind of Christ that I decided to usurp
His authority for my own, thus completing the darkening of my mind.
C.S. Lewis alluded to this
self-idolatry when he described the world of sexual fantasy as being “a harem
of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against a man ever
getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always
accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can
be endowed with erotic and psychological attributes which no real woman can
rival. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly
adores himself.”
Piercing the Darkness
When a person is angry enough,
scared enough, or frustrated enough, that person will take action. So it is
with pornography. If you recognize its impact on your life, and you are
sufficiently concerned to take action, that is the beginning of true change.
The journey away from pornography,
like the journey away from sexual sin in general, is so simple it escapes many
people. It can be reduced to three simple principles: repentance, discipleship,
and accountability.
Repentance: Reject the behavior by separating
yourself from it. If you have not separated yourself from it, you haven’t
repented. In practical terms, that may mean purchasing a filtering device (or
switching to an Internet service provider that prohibits pornographic material
from coming through), or doing away with the Internet altogether. It may mean
discontinuing the cable service on your television. In short, do whatever is
necessary to separate yourself from the behavior on which you’ve become
dependent.
Discipleship: Establish yourself in the daily
discipline of prayer and Bible study. If you do not have a regular devotional
life, begin now by naming a book of the Bible you can begin reading today. If
you haven’t read the Bible before, or you’ve been out of the habit for a while,
let me suggest the following books, and read them in this order to get you
started: the Gospel of John, Romans, Ephesians, James, and Proverbs. Follow up
these daily readings with a time of prayer, following the model of prayer
Christ taught in Matthew 6:9–13. Prayer and the reading of Scripture are
requirements for anyone wanting to renew his or her mind; they will diffuse the
power of deeply ingrained sexual images.
Accountability: Start a relationship with at least
one believer who knows about your use of pornography. Have this person ask you,
on a weekly basis, whether you’ve repeated this behavior and how well you’ve
resisted the temptations to repeat it. Remember, sexual sin thrives in the
dark. A large part of recovery from it lies in your willingness to keep your
private behavior in the light of another believer’s scrutiny and prayers. This,
like the daily discipline of prayer and Scripture reading, is required if
you’re serious about your repentance.
A Battle Worth Fighting
After the English Parliament’s 1938
appeasement in Czechoslovakia, Winston Churchill saw the danger of choosing
peace when honor and common sense called for battle. “You have been given the
choice between war and dishonor,” he said. “You have chosen dishonor, and you
will have war!” History, of course, would confirm his prophetic warning:
refusing to fight an honorable battle may afford a temporary peace, but in the
long run it’s too costly. Delaying a necessary battle may well result in a
devastating, full-scale war.
Every person who has become involved
in sexual sin makes a decision between battle and dishonor. As always, dishonor
looks like an easier choice. Dishonor means making peace with your sin. It
means telling yourself that after so many years, it’s become such a part of
your life that trying to cut it out would be too traumatic and too
uncomfortable. It would mean saying goodbye to a reliable (though destructive)
friend, and the battle to abstain from this “friend,” with all the temptations
and struggles it would involve, seems too demanding, so a dishonorable
compromise is therefore reached when a person decides to live in peaceful
coexistence with his (or her) sexual sin.
Tyrants, however, never coexist
peacefully; by their nature, they demand increased territory, fewer limitations,
and more captives. The sin a person decides not to go to war against soon
demands more territory. It begins invading career, family, health, and
reputation. Now the person finds that what could have been a brief skirmish, if
it had been attended to earlier, has become full-blown war. He chose dishonor
over battle. In the end, he winds up with both.
If your mind has become a
battlefield—darkened by the use of pornography, which has distorted your basic
attitudes toward life—you have already yielded a good deal of territory, and
your willingness to concede it has already cost a terrible price to you, your
loved ones, and the church. God grant that today you find yourself ready to
abandon the dark and see again how wonderful the true light can be.
2 comments:
He's right, pornography is a growing addiction. It has gotten so much worse than it was in the beginning. And the people using grow worse as well. At first it's playboy, then videos, then you are led to more and more perverse sexual behavior.
Really it's just a shame that people believe the lie that this is normal for people. IT ISN'T NORMAL. But, if you say that then you are a prude... Oh, what a world we live in when a sin is regarded as perfectly normal(even though you have to hide it and are ashamed if you are caught...)
Hannah J
dreamingofperfect.weebly.com
Thank you Hannah for the response. I agree with what you said. It is saddening and illogical that people will see viewing pornography as "normal" and yet the thought of being found out or caught brings shame, fear, and embarrassment. We cannot possibly justify sin (in any form) by dismissing it as normal...for our guilt - at least initially - regret, anxiety, worry, and shame all testify to the fact that sin in general is WRONG. What is ironic about justifying our sins is the feelings of entrapment and bondage they bring to us in the midst of viewing/engaging in them. If pornography or sin was perfectly fine, decent, or normal, wouldn't we delight in telling others about it so they too can receive "pleasure and satisfaction"? This is worth pondering.
I like the following quotes:
Wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.
Right is right even if no one is doing it.
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