Thursday, November 20, 2014

Beauty vs. Sexual Attraction

Beauty vs. sexual attraction

What are a few of the differences?

Beauty entails:

  • Conversation
  • Friendliness
  • Kindness
  • Being a good listener
  • Companionship
  • Getting to know a person and building/maintaining a relationship
  • Support
  • Nurturing
  • Gentle touches
  • Self-care
  • Smile
  • Laughter
  • Patience
  • The willingness to wait until marriage for sex

Sexual attraction is made up of:

  • Appearance
  • Flirtation
  • Provocative attire
  • The way one speaks, leans over, touches mouth, walks
  • Lustful glances
  • High emotions
  • Sensuous features
  • Fetishes

So, why are we so prone and eager to desire mere sex appeal in ourselves and others?  Clearly there are major differences with the depth and length of a relationship where true beauty is considered vs. sexual attraction and its passionate moments that only lead to regret, emptiness, and end in shame.  Desire the person, not only the body.

Society has everything backwards.  We esteem thinness as the ideal for beauty and are willing to take drastic measures to achieve a thinner body, while those who have a healthy body weight and make sure to eat properly and exercise are frowned upon as not being model material.

I appreciate what Jennifer Lawrence said:  "In Hollywood, I’m obese.  I’m considered a fat actress.  I eat like a caveman.  I’ll be the only actress that doesn’t have anorexia rumors!  I’m never going to starve myself for a part.  I’m invincible.  I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner!’  That was something I was really conscious of during training.  I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong, not thin and underfed."

Am I the only one who finds it utterly pathetic and empty how television programs and music videos present men and women as though the only bond between them is how far they will go sexually and how soon it takes place (or how many people they can be with), while those who serve the Lord and desire to honor Him by their lives are content with waiting patiently on Him and praying for His best, in His time?

Sex should not be exalted just because it brings pleasure.  Sex, to believers especially (only in the context of marriage), will truly be great when both people have gotten to know each other beforehand, have a deep friendship, good communication, trust, integrity, and a devotion to God and only one another.  There is something to say about couples who treasure their relationship enough to maintain fidelity through what their eyes see, their minds dwell on, and the actions they do.

Ask anyone who has had sex with someone they truly care about and have a relationship with vs. a one night stand or fling with short-lived dating relationships what meant more to them and brought the most fulfillment.  When you care about a person, sex is much more meaningful.  It is and should be so much more than having an orgasm.  The second leads to issues you will carry into your future, guaranteed.  Watch this sermon which addresses what you should do before getting married and speaks brilliantly about sex before marriage and why "staying out of bed" really is the best choice.

I recommend reading, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller, Every Man's Marriage: Every Man's Guide to...Winning the Heart of a Woman by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey, and Starting Your Marriage Right: What You Need to Know and Do in the Early Years to Make it Last a Lifetime by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.

What do you find most beautiful about a person?  How does this differ from sex appeal?


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