Friday, August 29, 2014

Why I'm Fed Up With the So-Called Cool Crowd


Let's be real here for a moment.  Are any of you tired of the way girls and guys grow up and the slang they use to describe one another, the flirtation so common among them, and the ostracizing of those who aren't a part of the in crowd?
As I thought about the way girls and guys are from the time of junior high, I became quite frustrated and upset.  Here I will address my thoughts to both male and females and I welcome each of you to write in with your thoughts on the subject as well (or you may write to me at: if you are more comfortable with this).
GIRLS, please understand that you are worth so much more than your body parts, looking cute, flirting with guys, and getting boys to notice you because of your (often) scandalous way of dress and rambunctious flirtation.  Men are visually stimulated and when they notice a girl acting in a overly sexual way (even by how she leans over, touches her mouth, or walks in a sensuous way), they do not see you as a girl to get to know, pursue, treasure, hug and love.  They merely see you as eye candy and then devour you in their minds with grotesque thoughts of you being their play toy (and with the overconsumption of pornography among many youth today, this just adds to their hyper sexualized longing for your body and fuels their wretched fantasies).  I truly am so tired of seeing countless young women throw themselves at a guy, be willing to caress him when they are only friends, send or receive sexts as if it is nothing, and have conversations online they would be embarrassed of if others happened to read them.  I am tired of watching so many youth go the way of seeking to be sexually desirable and act out in ways older celebrities do that are clearly inappropriate.  I mean really, girls, teenage guys are not capable of valuing you as a precious person worth getting to know.  They think with their penis and are more concerned about impressing their guy friends and wanting to be labeled a player than they are treating and being faithful to their adolescent girlfriend who for some reason is blinded to the fact that true love not only waits for sexual acts until a genuine commitment and friendship has taken place which leads to a marriage of fidelity, but that being friends with someone before being intimate in any way (and this includes kissing and rubbing up against the guy claiming that you are just having fun at the dance...) will better ensure a solid relationship where there is mutual trust and allowing your closeness to begin on the foundation of getting to know one another.  So, so many girls give their bodies and waste their thoughts on the idea that this guy will be different, yet I plead with you to step back and think long-term with every choice you make.  Honor the Lord with your decisions, strive to walk in His ways, and keep Christ front and center on the throne of your heart...
GUYS, just to let you all know:  Women do not like when you are perverted and make crude jokes with your friends about girls.  Girls do not like when you go to grab their butt and put your hands other places when you are just friends (in a compromised situation like being alone at home before your parents get home because your girl "pal" went there after school to finish a class project since you were in the same group and the other teens who went to your house to finish it also ended up leaving early.  Or maybe the conversation among you two turned into sensuous questions and playing the game of "Truth or Dare" went a little too far).  Girls want attention, this is true.  Yet the sort of attention they are longing for is one where their boyfriend or husband will treasure and love them as a person and not treat them like a prostitute whom you can smooth talk your way into getting sex from simply because you are horny and lack self-control.  Guys, especially Christian guys, MAN UP and stop being a coward and giving into what is so common among junior high and high school males of thinking that unless you laugh at (or make) raunchy jokes, comment on a girl's body shape when she walks by, or speak amongst yourselves about how it might be to have sex with so-and-so, try respecting women and treating them with dignity.  Acknowledge them as a valuable person who is worth waiting for and actually has feelings, desires, goals, dreams, character, personality, habits, and a future.  And by all means, protect a girl's innocence.  Stop degrading girls all for laughs or because you assume it's fine to see women as objects merely because we as a society and culture are drowning in the objectification of women and too often portray them as sexual objects to devour instead of people that are worth more than a one night stand or no-strings-attached fling.
Christ-follower, stand up and stand out!  Exalt the Lord with your actions, behavior, choices, conversations, goals, and pursuits.  Seek to please God by your entertainment choices, who you spend time with, and even what you think about and dwell on (see Philippians 4: 8).
It would be so refreshing if girls and guys of this and every generation would see the importance of taking their walk with God seriously and honor Him with how they see and treat others.
Really, what are you waiting for?  I challenge you to shock the world and be an adolescent or pre-teen that esteems Christ in all your ways and seeks to be an example of Him in everything to a dying and perverse world who is beyond thirsty to see real Christians live out their faith...not just speak about it or act like they and God are cool simply because you go to Youth Group twice a week and read your devotionals each morning.
I challenge you!


Maleeka said...

Hi Emma Joy, I am not a teen or pre-teen. I am an adult but the information you provide is just as valuable and applicable for our young people as it is for us older folks who are walking this narrow path. May I stand up and stand out as His follower. I am worth more than one night affairs. :')

Emma Joy said...


I am so sorry for not responding to this sooner! I meant to and then somehow forgot.

Your kind words are very much appreciated. You (and every individual) have great worth - much, much more than one night affairs.

Keep your eyes, heart, and mind focused on the Lord. Honor and obey His word.

Disobedience and straying from God is NOT worth it. Trust me.

Thank you for writing!

Emma Joy

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